Genting Trip..!!

it's about 7pm.. felt a bit cold there.. unfortunately got no chance to try this due to tiredness

one of the hotels there..got lots of them.. my sayang and i had tried the monorail..
actually it was the family ride which suitable foR KIDS under 12yrs old, but coz of excitement.. we tried it.. n it was so damn slow.. my sayang told me dat even her grandma can walk fast.. haih~

we reach genting bout 11am, n the sky so misty.. can't view the top of the hotel at dat time..

juz went jalan2 at the outdoor theme park before my dear decided to try the first game..

The pirate ship was totally damn appalling to me...

felt like my heart wanna tercabut... huhu~

my leg terribly shaking after tried the game..

my sayang n i in the genting skyway.. whoa.. so high from the ground level..

the view so perfect.. can see the top of the trees. kinda Canopy walk~

otw back from Genting, i got the opportunity to watch the sun set..

huhu~ but didn't take any photos..

Finally after almost 2 yrs staying in KL, i went to genting.. hahah~ no other words can describe my feeling except SAtISFAcTIOn.. YEeeehaaAAA.!!
actly, i'veplanned to go to genting since last year, to go there with friends.. but turn up there was something dat have changed the plan.. so, this time.. nothing da could ever stop me going there...hihi~
n I'm SOOOooo LUckY coz have SOmeone special to be my companion.. Dear darling..love ya..!!

Mimpi Menjadi Kenyataan..

we need to answer this in full Bahasa Melayu. So, this is it! :P
1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah :
= SOB..

2. Saya sedang mendengar :
= bunyi-bunyian..hihih~ hot in here oleh nelly ( panas dalam sini..wahahaha direct translation)

3. Mungkin saya patut:
= Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... kihkih kih~ tido itu penting (shasha, 2009)

4. Saya suka :
= goyang2kan pinggul mengikut irama musi.. YEah.. BAby yeah.!! aha~

5.Sahabat-sahabat baik saya :
= seseorang yg lepak2, individual, boleh dipercayai.. same giler..whoahaha...~

6.Saya tak paham :
= kenaper budak2 lelaki suke sangat kat BoooBS pmpuan.. so judgemental...heee gatal!!

7.Saya kehilangan :
= kenangan2 maser kecik2 dolu2..

8.Ramai yang berkata :
= PEndek.. huhuhu~ sesungguhnya teramat la benci...

9.Makna nama saya :
= heehee.." KEizinan MalaM" .. aper maknenyer tuh.. teka cepat..!! saper betol dapat hadiah misteri~

10.Cinta itu adalah :
= Aku & Dia~ bersama bergumbira, sukaduka, mati bersama~

11.Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang :
= masak kat dapur~ huit sayang... jgn mengular ye~

12.Saya akan cuba :
= menghabiskan sesi soal jwab neh..banyak la pulak..!! haih~

13.Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud :
= SELAlu + MAin + taNYA2 = SELAMANYA. hihihi~ semalam, hari ini, esok, tulat, booolat, minggu depan, bulan depan, tahun depan, masa dePAn.. haha~

14.Telefon bimbit saya :
= tiada panggilan masuk.. senyap je~

15.Bila saya terjaga dari tidur :
= mesti nk p toilet... sejuk n rase nk ter.......

16.Saya paling meluat apabila :
= orang BERPURA2 BAIK.. Sh%#

17.Pesta/Parti adalah :
= YEeHAa,.... kesukaan Yang Melampau..!!

18.Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah :
= Arwah bayi Arnab saya..huhuks~

19.Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah :
= mase bayi.. sumer orang sayang saye~ heheh

20.Hari ini :
= saya n teman lelaki istimewa berjalan2 di Mid valey, tengok pameran anjing dan kucing..MEOW..!! pergi makn di Nando's n balik ZZzzzzz...

21.Malam ini saya akan :
= mengharapkan bulan jatuh diriba.. WEeee.... Jatuhla bulan.. Oh.. bulan~

22.Esok pula saya akan :
= Beli Tiket ke Genting... yaYYYY...!! makan dan Zzzzzz.....

23.Saya betul-betul inginkan :
= Mimpi menjadi KenYatAan....

24.Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini :
= Wah.... macam orang baru bangun tido..! ha memang pon.. hihiks~

25.Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan :
= bukan tempat berlari, berkejaran, bermain bagi kanak2 bawah umor ye..!!! penjaga mesti awasi anak2 kecik korang!! bising je~

26.Makanan Barat atau Jepun
= saya mesti Cube seswaikan diri makan makanan neh.. teman lelaki saye kater ianya sihat.. betolke?? betol la kot..

27.Bilik yang terang atau gelap :
= maner2 pon ok... janji saye boleh ZZZzzzzzz...

28.Makanan segera adalah :
= Cepat siap.. name pon segera kan...

29.Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
= bye~ Dalam perbualan bersama teman lelaki saye..

30.Siapa yang anda nak Tag?
= saper2 yg sayer suke la... sibuk je tnya CEh..!!

mY saYang

Doing nothing at home.. i looked at him.. n he looked at me back.. hahah~

only dat evening he reach my home, we went ronda2 my kampung..

nothing much at my kg, only d people who looked my dear so pelik as if my dear was alien..

B4 going home, we went to desaru for late lunch.. n go jalan on the beach..

cant stay there longer coz have to balik da~

Yay....!! i was sooooooooooooooooooo happy that my sayang went to my house.

Hurm.. never expected that he'd meet my parents this early.. hihih.. N my parent were okay da..

hope that my dear has enjoyed the days at my home..

Eventhough he had been with me for less than 24hrs, But M really happy... dun noe da how to describe my feeling.. yeah.. m trully happy..

AK-47

It is not a weapon.. no lar~ actually it is my coursemate, all together 47 person includes my self... After two years went through hurdles, challenges and pains.. nOw we already pass the examination.. the final examination which is the determination whether or not we can go to UK.. we'll be going to further our studies in B.ED TESL at Canterbury Christ Churh University..n it will take 3 years to be there.. huhu~ how m i going to survive in another country which full of strangers.. they're European, so tall n big.. but me, myself.. like an ant walking besides to an elephant.. huhu~ so scared...hmm. forget bout it... no time to think.. i wil survive..!! yeah...~ huhu.. MAYBE i can..

Dear friends... CONGRATULATION TO ALL...!!
WISH U ALL THE BEST OF LUCK..~

My Ex-Room..

My locker.. i close it coz inside there has many things dat should not be revealed or showed.. hihi~

i used my bed as da best place to study.. this picture was taken during my exam week..

hah....
After 2 years in IPbA, now it is the time to move out from my room.. haaih.. so many unforgettable memories in there..
during 2 years in iPbA i have changed my room 2 times.. When i was moved into this college, i stayed with senior Cohort 4 at Blok 3, level 4.. luckily, i had aida who staying wif me dat time.. at least i have someone who is same like me.. or else i'd felt like an alien in the house..
Later, after all the senior finish their foundation years n fly to overc.. i did not think twice to move into another room..
i moved into Blok 5 Level 4, still staying with aida.. but this time i had new roomate, T-rex..
We had stayed together for 2 semesters there.. finally, during my final semester i had decided to stay with FAtin in Blok 6, Level 4.. hahah.. dunnoe why.. but i was determined to stay in Level 4 in whatever Blok i stayed.. hahah~
My so-called apartment is facing the UNikL Hostel.. Wht's interesting bout dat hostel, it is boy's hostel.. hahah~ Sometimes my housemate did crazy2 thing with the boys.. will not be mentioned here.. hahah~
whatever it is, i found it can be an alternative way to reduce stress or juz to have fun..
i can only watch n say nothing la~

my so-called readingg corner..wahahaha... i was not realise the existence of this corner~

hmm...
my Bilik is not too large not too small, but i was comfortable to stay there... it was the best place to relax, to online, to revise, to study, n most imprtantly to Tidooo......

my bed..huhu~ nothing special but i love to sleep there as it provided me with pure comfort n nice zzzzzzzzzzz

hahah~ i love to sleep, either during day time or night of course.. The curtain help me to have good sleep during wekeend.. hihi~ it blocked the sunlight.. heheh~ juz nice to tido...~~
Hmm..but there will be no more the same situation as m going home da...

the place where i used to online n do my revision.. sometimes berpindah-randah as i can move the table wherever i want it to be~

to my Bilik.. dar~ take care yourself..!!

Who's hE??

hmmmm...

wondering who is he actually?

albert enstein wanna-be?

or...
maybe hitler-to-be??

hahaha~ or maybe...

elvis presley fan neh..

hihi~ but...........

not impossible if he is fishing kaki~

I keep thinking who he is..

a hero maybe.. no lar~ it can't be

he's somebody..

with long hair.. hihi~ must be naughty

and who's this??

guy with a bicycle.. n long kaki..hi~



hey.. look here what i've found..

he's a chef..

yeah..

and a fish..

a chef who loves fish..!!

hihi~ whoever he is..

he's someone to me..

My Loving Boyfriend... My Husband-to-be..!!

Cakes..!!

weee... nyum.2.. it looks very nice,, n surely taste extremely good..
evnthough m not really like cake but i love this picture..
this picture was taken from my bf's laptop.. lots of food picture in there.. from a very simple thing, to the very beautiful, mesmerising picture of foooooooodddd...
this is actlly wedding cake, very nice.. isnt't it?
hihi~ if la i know how to mke such a beautiful cake like this.. heh.. 4 sure my life will become exciting n interesting..
for me cake n fashion, more or less, are the same..

the trend keep changing as the time changes~
whenevr i go for wedding ceremony, the fisrt thing dat would capture my eyes is the cake.

previously, malays only prepared cake(s) for the wedding, but not today..
they have also provided cake in other ceremonies or events Such as Engagement day..
hish... it will not complete without the cake..
yup.. m very sure bout dat.. Cakes can symbolise many things..
a new relationship..
a new life..
a happiness,.. a LOVE.. juz to name a few..
Nowadays, people seem very particular about cake for some events especially the wedding day.. To be frank, they sometimes so demand bout the cake's "appearance".
hahah... ya lor.. they want it to be this, they want it to be that.. want it to be as big as it can, and also tinggi...in short, they want it to be perfect.!! haih..
the cake's maker sure can get headache to layan those people..
For me, Creativity is the significant element in making a superb n beautiful cake..
Taste is another thing, dun noe much..
If the maker is very talented, for sure he/she will not dissappoint the customer..
hmm.. colour also plays important role. As far as m concern, lots of cakes had used soft n light colour such as light pink, soft cream.. n etc.. dat colour need to be matched with the theme of the event la~
hmmm...what else??
dat's it.. all i know about cakes.. hihi~

Please Forgive Me..

huhu~
Dar.. i didn't wish for this separation. U know how much u really meant to me right??
everyday, i love u more n more.. i never get tired of loving you.. you r my everything... one of the important person in my life, one of the precious things i have..
i don't mean to leave you.. really, if i have choices, i would choose to stay with you rather than going far away.. but as i mentioned, this is faith..
Dear, i wish u'll have happy n good life without me.. it's only 3 years.. i hope u can wait for me..
Dear~ sorry for dat i ought to go..leaving you here, alone.. remember sayang, m also be alone.. i dun noe how i'm going to survive wthout u there.. but i Will give my best to mantain our Long distance relationship.. i will come back to you.. i will keep my promise.. I will meet you again.. i will...!!
Dear~ i cannot lose you.. u r all i wanted in this life..
huhu~ i dun noe what to say da~
please forgive me coz i have to go..
please forgive me coz leaving u..
please forgive me coz i cannot take care of you after this..
please forgive me coz i cannot be with you all the times..
please forgive me coz we had met too late n no much time left for us to be together..
please forgive me coz i cannot stay here longer..
please forgive me if i hurt you during the times we'd spent together..
please forgive me if i had make you cry..
please forgive me for any stupid mistakes i had done before..
please forgive me for words that make u sad..
please forgive me sayang..
please forgive me, I cannot Stop loving you~
this is what my heart saying.. dear~ please forgive me..

I hate Loneliness...

haih~...
M dying now.. soon, i'll be going back to Johor.. Later, fly da to UK..
leaving everything n everyone i love here esp my parents n beloved boyfriend, wilson..
dar~ m thnking... thinking.. n thnking.. what will happen to you n me.?? huhuh~
m so scared to live alone without you.. without smone who will take care my self..
3 years.. its not 3 days.. imagine the days without u only makes me damn scare, pressure, stress to death, n want to mati.. why dis happen to me? when i've found smone who i really trust, then suddnly we've to berpisah.. God..!! why?? why? why? n why??
i wish dis is juz a dream, but unfortunately it is NOT..!!
huhuhu~
my life gonna be damn bored without you..
my days gonna be dull, colourless..
My smile means nothing..
My tears is in vain.. evnthough how much it pour down my cheek, the reality is, it will not change the fact we have to be far apart..
My night will become so empty...
My heart gonna break into thousand pieces whenever i'm missing you~
dar~ My hope is gone without you~

how do i live without you~

Dar.. i love you full of my heart..I hope u r not tired listening to this, the same thing again n again.. i juz want you to know dat there's no other man inside here, in my heart.. you r the only one i love now, at this moment, tmorrow, the becoming days, until the day i die..
dar~ i want to spent the rest of my life with you.. u know what i mean right??
we have talk about our becoming 3 years so many times.. sometimes i felt so bored to talk the same topic again,
i never stop thinking bout ur life, about us.. m less thinking bout my self as if it's not important da this time.. i want you to be happy.. how can i make sure dat u'll be happy?? i also dunnnoe..i know it gonna be very hard for you to let me go.. as u said, "have to".. i'll never ask you to let me go because i dont want to stay apart. but i realise dat this is the truth, tha faith.. by hook or by crook i hv to go.. huhu~ truth is always hurt..
dar~ do you know smthing,? i've been crying everyday knowing dat soon we'll be far apart.. m so scared to death to live my life without u..
there's no YOU to stay besides me..
to sing a song for me..
to remind me to take care of myself..
to call me everyday..
to share your story with me..
to comfort me..
to tell me i'm special eventhough I'm not..
TO GIVE ME MORE LOVE EVEN I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT..
to whisper "I LOVE YOU" to me..
to give Company when i needed
to wipe my tears..
to share happy moment..
to laugh together..
to cry together..
to listen to me..
to give me strength when i'm down..
to do things together..
to watch the moon n stars together..

there's no you to share my life with..

Dear darling Wilson, with my heart, body n soul, I sincerely, badly, positively love you..
i never fall into someone else like the way i fall into you~
How do i live without you..
tell me dar..

Went To PeNang

ha...
now ni m doing nothing.. m planning of to finish my novel but quite malas.. not so malas la but m not having the mood to membaca right now. m juz sitting here, infront of the laptop, trying to remember my password for yahoo group, but i remmber nothing unless the unforgettable memories in my dar homewtown.. on last monday, i went to Penang with my Dar to meet his parents. It was quite unexpected plan because previously we had planned to go to genting. But knowing dat this is the only chance for me to meet his parents before i fly, then i juz agreed lor.. besides, dar told me he haven't meet his parent for quite long time..
M so nervous, afraid, worried n anxiuos of meeting his parents.. huhu~ i was thnking lots of things on the day of departure.. what if... what if this.. what if that...
The 4 hours journey was enough to make myself felt a bit tired n got backpain.. huhu~ i hate travel for hours on the bus.. but this time i was so lucky because i have my dar besides me.. so if i was not sleeping, i talked to him.. n if i was not talking to him, i sleep.. hihi~
i juz awake n sleep, again awake then sleep throughout the journey.. at least the 4 hours journey can be made shorter.. hahah~ i think tHe bus only stopped once at ipoh.. hmm think so.. not sure la~ m not familiar with the place.. huuhuu~ wanna know smthng? actly this was my first time in my life came to penang.. huhu~ so sad, isnt it??
never been there before.. luckily my dar brought me there, if not.. m not sure la if i have other chances to jejak my kaki there.. hi~
is it possible to me to come there in other time?? maybe yes.. maybe not.. depends..
maybe yes for m coming there to visit my dar's parents or to come to my coursemate's wedding.. hihi~ Dila, so far..she's my only friend who staying in penang..
nah~
but m sure dat i'll come back to penang again after 3 yrs.. to meet my beloved dar~
i promise him, i'll be back.. if he's not working in KL n has moved to his hmtown dat time, i'll find him at his house..heheh~ evnthough m hving high chance to sesat.. sesat pun sesatla.. as long as i can meet my dar~
dar~ i love u so much..!!

Thanks Darling~

Dar~ i'd love to say thousand thnk you for your time to cook for me..
hmm..nyum.. nyum.. it's delicious, Yup serious.. M totally full dat night.. hihi~
dun noe why suddenly m was thinking of asking you to cook for me.. n you just agreed.. dar~ love you..
felt so lucky to know dat someone is willlig to do anything for you.. Haih i couldn't help you to masak la dear.. know nothing.. m afraid if i kacau u, later everythng will mess up.. huhu~
i could only watch you. m truly happy.. so syok watching my chef cook in the kitchen.. everythng seemed so easy for him.. hahah..of course la, he's a chef what..
dear~ thnk you dar~
for the wonderful dinner~

S#!*

Raser cm nak mencarut je...
huhu~ warghh...

100 things about me~

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Plain H2O
2. Last phone call: My dear Darling.. Who else?? hihi
3. Last text message: tO ili~
4. Last song you listened to: EnTernal Flame.. Dar~ i wnt u to know how much i love u..
5. Last time you cried: Juz now~ huhuks...

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: ........ m thinking...~ wht da ya mean??!!
7. Been cheated on: haih~more thn Hundred times lor..
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Never Ever regretted it.. right darling???
9. Lost someone special: huhukS.. cannot afford to lose him..
10. Been depressed: totally depressed... How m i going to get through days in Uk for 3yrs without my sayang..??!!
11. Been drunk and threw up: for sure la.. NEVER..

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black is Mystery
13. Red is Sexy
14. Warna Warni?? hihiks...

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Not really.. M stuck n Bz wif my Final exam..
16. Fallen out of love: SUre Nope... FAllen In.. definiely yeS..
17. Laughed until you cried: Too Happy of having SOme1 besides me.. I love you Dar~
18. Met someone who changed you: I am myself.. No nd to chnge.. i thnk so..~
19. Found out who your true friends were: huh... Not yet.. ppl keep chnging as the time moving~
20. Found out someone was talking about you: unexpected person was talking bout me.. X sangka Sunnguh.. how can she thinks we're friend??
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yup2...
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Most of them.. nt sure~
23. How many kids do you want to have: ask my becoming hubby.. Sayang..~ how many kids do we want??
24. Do you have any pets: virtual pet yes... real one.. nope..
25. Do you want to change your name: hmm... when got married.. maybe yes.. dun noe.. so far.. dun think so
26. What did you do for your last birthday: did not celebrate..
27. What time did you wake up today: almost 11..
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: aha..!! went to teman my dar~ go fishing until 6 am.. knowing dat it would be the last time i can go fishing wif him~ really enjoyed watching the stars n moon~
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: getting married with dar~ <3
30. Last time you saw your Mother: almost 2 months ago..
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I've met my dar~ earlier n if possible we're married da.. hihih~ <3 <3 <3
32. What are you listening to right now: Ministry of Sound.. dunnoe what song.. juz listening~
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nOpe
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: My Dar~
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook dowh.. n Blog
36. Whats your real name: Shalilah Binti HUssin
37. Nicknames: Shasha (currently), Elle ( school n matrik), kakak (close friend), Cik Cha (my nephew), Milla (at home)
38. Relationship Status: hihi~ LOveis in the Air..
39. Zodiac sign: Aquarius
40. Male or female?: erkk.. Female lor~
41. Elementary?: SK Sungai Mas.. Tada Mas Pown.. hahaks
42. Middle School?: Sek. Men. Bandar Mas.. then SAINS MUAR
43. High school/college?:JOhor matriculation College(2006-07) .. teacher training Inst. (IPBA/IPGM Kampus bahasa Antarabangsa)
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: long.......................
46. Height: 145cm.. huhu~ m shorty..
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: NO..
48. What do you like about yourself?: I love Children, n if i've met sm1 i really love, i will love him forever n never think of betray him.. I'm simple n positively, i dun like to bother people life..!! Dat's not my business
49. Piercings: ear la~
50. Tattoos: noPE
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Never
53. First piercing: time baby kot~ ask my mum
54. First best friend: Nana & Rozi
55. First sport you joined: 100m.. hihi~ when i was 9yrs old
56. First vacation: Where??? m thinking...... long time ago
58. First pair of trainers:....

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nope
60. Drinking: nope
61. I'm about to: Sleep.. hihi~ waiting phone call from dar~
62. Listening to: Ministry of Music n Fan.. haih
63. Waiting on: to Meet Dar~ what else.. dar.. cm bck early!!

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: yup.. definitely
65. Get Married?: sure.. DEFiNITELy i want to... right sayang??
66. Career?: Teacher-to-be

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: BOTH...
69. Shorter or taller: er.... huhuks.. sensitive question..
70. Older or Younger: Younger~
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: err.. dun noe.. cannot register da~
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive la~
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: noPe
77. Drank hard liquor: noPe
78. Lost glasses/contacts: not yet~ hihi
79. Sex on first date: noPe~
80. Broken someone's heart: sure penah.. yes
82. Been arrested: nope~ budak baik ma~
83. Turned someone down: Dun noe la~ MAybe yes whout my realisation..haih~
84. Cried when someone died: Yes.. lost my beloved uncle
85. Fallen for a friend?: humm..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: YeSSS......!!
87. Miracles: yes
88. Love at first sight: YEs..!!!
89. Heaven: totally
90. Santa Claus: previously, when i was young.. hihi.. too much watch TV dowh..
91. Kiss on the first date: yup2...
92. Angels: totally

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: NOpe...WhAt FOR??
95. Did you sing today?: yes.. i did..
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: yup..
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: as far as possible, as long as i can stay together with my sayang..~
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: dun noe..
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Partially yEs..
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: yes

I'm really mean it..!!

Dar. i want you to know that this s my decision, My final decision n i dont want to think about it anymore~ I ONly WANT you n FOREVer LOVE yoU..!!
NOw, at this time, this moment, n the becoming hours, days N next 3 YEARS, i WILL STICK with YOu..ok
N I will not look for other guys.. i just want you.!! i will never get tired of loving you..
if i have to tell you 100times per day that i want to live wif u.. i will coz i need you.. i cannot lost you~ dear.. i love you..!!!

I will Always Love You~

If I should stay
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go but I know
I'll think of you
Every step of the way.
And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
You my darling
Bittersweet memories,
That is all I'm taking with me.
So goodbye, please don't cry.
And I will always love you.
I will always love you.

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have
All you've dreamed of.
And I wish for you joy
And happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I, I will always love you.
You, darling I love you.
I'll always, I'll always love you

No Ordinary Love

This lyrics mean so much to me~

This could have been just another day
But instead we're standing here
No need for words it's all been said
In the way you hold me near
I was alone on this journey
You came along to comfort me
Everything I want in life is right here
'Cause

This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
I was not prepared enough
To fall so deep in love
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
You were the first to touch my heart
And everything right again with your extraordinary love

I get so weak when you look at me
I get lost inside your eyes
Sometimes the magic is hard to believe
But you're here before my very eyes
You brought joy to my world
Set me so free
I want you to understand
You're every breath that I breathe

From the very first time that we kissed
I knew that I just couldn't let you go at all
From this day on, remember this:
That you're the only one that I adore
Can we make this last forever
This can't be a dream
'Cause it feels so good to me

I can't Live without You~

Dar~
i will always remember this song that u sang to me.. Now i know that ur love for me is real.. i can stop dreaming because the reality is finally better than the dream..
i love you~

No, I cant forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess thats just the way this story goes,
You always smile....
But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I cant forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrows
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now its only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I cant live
If living is without you
I cant live
I cant give anymore
Cant live
If living is without you
cant give,
I cant give anymore

A Love note for Dar~

I wonder if you know how very happy you make me
and that any kindness you show me is never overlooked.
When i'm near you, the world is a better place~
When you touch me, it takes my breath away~ and it feels so good~
I don't want it to ever stop
I believe nothing can ever hurt me again as long as I'm in your arms~
When i look into your eyes, my fear n anxiety n Doubt all vanish~
and I see a man who is so special and strong and loving
You make me feel like royalty, I'm so incredibly happY..
and my deepest Wish
Is that I stir something like that within you too..
In the meantime~
I'm LOVING every moment I spend with you~..

A Daily Reminder for the ONE I LOVE

Dar~ soon.. i'll no longer here, to laugh with you, to smile with you, to cry with you..n to be with you.. but please do not forget all the memories that we shared together.. deep inside my heart, i dont really wanna go to uk.. Go to uk means i have to leave you here n i hv to get through the becoming days alone, which i'm afraid to do it without u besides me~
Dar~ don't forget everythng that we shared together. eithr the gd or bad one. i shall not forgeting you~ u r part of me. I have to leave u but one day i'll come back to get it back.. hope dat u can take a gd care of urself.. promise me dar~ dont take too much cigarretes, u r worrying me dear~ i Love YOu soooooo MUCH that i cannot let my beloved one Sakit, or suffer, or even torture himself juz to make me happy n release stress.. i promise you to share everythng.. please dont let ur emotion control ur rational. i will be back as same person u met before.. not more not less, i will be back to you sayang~ you r my soul, my Life, my reason for me t keep breathing~...

The card that i gave to you.. iF dont hv time to read it.. here i write it back what does it say.. at least whenver u online, u may read it here~ love u damn much sayang~

We say "I LOVE YOU" just about Every day..
Sometimes the words are whispered as we fall asleep at night..
Sometimes they're spoken at the end of a phone conversation
Or accompanied by a quick kiss as we rush out the door~
The Words are always there,
But Sometimes we forgot to think about
How much they Really MEAN.
Every time you Hear me say..
Those three little words,
I want you to remember that
They're coming from the bottom of MY HEART..~
I want you to remember that I LOVE YOU~
For everything you are
And for everything I am with you..
I want you to remember that you're
The best Person I'v ever known~
And i Feel SO LUCKY to have you in my life~
I want you to remember that TRUE LOVE is forever~
And there is No LOVE truer than
the LOVE I FEEL FOR YOU..!!
I want you to remember that you're
THe MOst WONDERFUL THING
that has Ever Happened to me,
MY HAPPY ENDING~
My DREAM COME TRUE~
My friend n MY LOVE
All Wrapped up in ONE..

I LOVE YOU..!!!

Someone i LOve

Dear dar.. we know that sometimes time moves extremely fast for us. we can't do anythng to stop it. n it seems dat we dont have much time left to be together. i wish i won't miss every single second to be with you.. haih~ but dat's totally impossible, right? there's something i can do for us now.. I'll make you happy n create as many sweet memory as i can until the day i left to uk, n to do dat i'm willing to sacrifice anythng for u,. esp my time..
i dont mind to stay here longer juz to be with you dar.. i dont mind to wait for hours until u fnsh ur work, because i know the fact that i will have the opportunity to see u again.. to see ur smile, to hear ur voice.. n to feel ur love dar~ u mean everythng for me.. i love u more thn anythng i love in my life. dar~ i wish ur birthday wish will come true.. so nothng can tear us apart.. dar~ i will wait for u no matter how long it takes to be together.. i juz want to marry u n spend all the days with u. i want u to be my life partner, i want you to be my hubby, my family, my life, my WORLd, my EVERYtHINg. i want to share evertng in this life. i can't wait for it..

Couple day Out 2

M truly happy to be with darling.. it seemed that my dar so syok fishing.. hihi~
he kept changing the "I dont know what it called" so many times. until i captured his picture pun he did not realise it. We stayed t dat tasik until late afternoon.

The day panas suddenly,. huhu~ felt like wnt to mandi but definitely i'll not jump into the tasik la.. after lepaking for a while there, we went makan n going home..
yay~ finally can mandi n tido since last night x tido till morning. Fuh.. felt so puas eventgh it was juz a nap. That evening, dar n i decided to go jalan2 tgether. we went to watch late nite muvie at the GArden. Citer Angel & Demons, i tote it was a ghost or horror movie, but it did not as i expected.. la bese je rupenyer.. But it's not about the movie.. i really enjoyed spent times with beloved 1, dar~ time is never enough for us.. i wish i can stop it from moving so that i can have extra time with you.. to do evertyhng i want before i have no chance to do it. i want to create my own world with u.. filled with happiness, laugh n joy.. n most importantly love that we hv for each other..
Hope to go out again smday and do smthng together..

Yesterday~

What happen yesterday?? nothing much.. i was still breathing n enjoying the day. Yesterday is MOnday, of course.. Yesterday Was 1st of Jun, means dat i have about 3 months left to be with my family n beloved sayang, wilson.. Yesterday was my Bf off day.. Yesterday i went to WismA Putra, to make the letter of good conduct~
Yesterday i went out with Darling n his cousins.. Yesterday.. Yesterday.. Yesterday.. Today will be Yesterday.. sometimes People who you know yesterday, will not be the same ppl as today~ Haih.. Why life is extremely complicated??!! somebody can explain it to me? Why i cannot do everything i want?? Why i cannot decide on smthing myself?? Why it's to hard to make a decision?? Why sometimes i felt like so stupid, a dummy to be exact?? Tell me why i have to face this and that? tell ME...!!

cOuple Day OUt..

Before i went to BTn, My boyfriend have planned to go for fishing actvty which is organised by PeMM (Persatuan Memancing Malaysia) at Tasik Titiwangsa.. Since my Bf loVe Fishing a lot, i dont mind to follow him dat day., As long as i can spend time with hm n dat what make me happier~
We woke up about 6am in the morning.. go sraight to Tasik Ttwgsa by monorail.. The day juz nice to go for fishing as it was not too hot n lucliky not even raining.. it was cloudy day bt it never stop us to go to Tasik Ttwngsa..
We arrived there bout 7 smthing n my bF's friends have waited for ur.. They pick us up n then moved to the tasik..
First thing that captured my attention was the beautiful lanskap at the tasik, surrounded by many plants juz potraying how natural it was.. a kind of suitable place to relax n have a gd time with friend n family.. no wonder la so many public there, they went for jogging n some others juz hanging around with their family n friends... but we came there fr a mission which was to support PeMM programme..
After register with the Organiser, we went to find suitable place around the lake n my BF start fishing while M juz watching.. hihih~
to be continued...

5 Days in US

First n foremost, US as mentioned before, stnd fo Ulu Sepri, serembn, N.9..

Fist day, after taklimat kursus and everything, back to so-called dorm.. Kemas2 katil, went mandi n Dinner.. 1st actvty dat night was lecture about Tanah Air = Malaysia..So penat after 2 n half hours journey, eventhough x der la jauh sngt ngn KL tp still mengantuk.. Or maybe sebetulnya i kuat tido.. hihi~ tersengguk2 time dengr the laecture by encik shukri, ketua facilitator kt BTN~ m not showing any sign of interested during dat lecture.. just thinking bout my love one in KL, my Dear DArlig Wilson.. Positively, I miss him..!!

Second day, arghhhh.... have to wake up early.. oh gosh.. last night i couldn't sleep well n now i hv to wake up at 5am.. huhu~ it was torturing me. Knowing dat i hve to attend each activities, i woke up. mandi n went to sembahyang at surau~ The morning just nice to have a gd sleep n dream of my darling but have to bangun la pulak.. haih~
again, during the kuliah subuh.. My Eyes slowly close n i went to my dreamland.~ continue ith last night lecture, this time the presenter focused on the other topic which are Rakyat, KeraJaan n Daulat.. 4 important aspect in a country~ t the time was moving so slow like kure2 i think.. but more slower thn kure2 la dat time.. huuhu~ keep thinking bout my darling, what is he doing there.. does he miss me like i do?? cannot pay attetion to the presenters.. sleepy + miss someone = Tido...hihi~
Miss dear wilson a lot..!!

Third day, the LdK session have started at 2nd night there.. we're divided into 8 group.. n me with few others students from my college were in the same group.. haih~
2 days past and 3 days to go.. i badly miss my beloved one.. my dear darling wilson~ Miss u badly sayang.. when i was there, everything seemed to be uneasy.. mandi xkena, tido xlena, makan also x kenyang.. loVEsick lor~

Fourth day.. yes2..!! one day to go.. tomorrow will be the last day in BTN.. eager to meet my sayang... LOve., Wait for me until i finish my BTn.. hmm everyday during the BTn, mY DARling neveR missed one single day to give me A phone call.. i cannot live without him.. eventhough how exhausted n sleepy i was, i still want to hear his voice everytime before i went to bed..

Fifth day.. Horrayy....!! finally, the end of the course.. i want to meet my darling as soon as possible, feel like to hug him n won't let him go.. 5 days like 5 years. i have to wait n wait until sometimes i felt like want to escape from the BTN.. evnthg M not physically abuse, but i think my emotion has been tortured badly.. It worth it to wait until the last day becoz you know dat someone is patiently waiting for you outside there.. n he also feel the same as you do. the Separation somehow taught us to be more patient, understanding one's situation n mostly to miss someone with full of ur heart~
baby.. i LOve you so much..!!

What's BTN??

nini & ili in the lecture hall... it was tiring to listen to all the presenterS

BtN?? it's just 3 words.. For some ppl when i mentioned BTn sure they already know wht it is.. Biro tatanegara, a special programme held by GoV for students who wants to further thier studies overseas..
last week, i have attend he 5days course in US.. fuyoo.. blum p ovc to dah smpai US.. haih.. no lar, US here stand for ULU SEPRI in seremban.. those live in N.9 definitely know this place..
located few km from rembau n quite nice... i love this place, firstly because the environment.. so green so natural n so enchanting.. surrounded by hutan n waterfall just making the place totally nice to have a life here..
compared to urban place, i think live in this place is much better..
seconly, becoz of the pple thre.. The facilitators are so nice n friendly.. they have take a good care of ourselves since the day we arrived there until the end of the course..

One of natural view at ULu sepRi camp.. huhu~ felt like wanna terjun there coz the days there were hot..!!

Before i went to this course, i feel so malas but terpaksa attent this course as it is one of the KPM requirement. The other students feel the same as i.. When talking bout BTn, what comes into my mind r brainwash session, politic and strict dicipline.. haih have to follow the rules n everything.. listen the useless lecture bout nationality.. i thnk i dont have to becoz m malaysian n i love my country what??
However, after i experience the BTN myself, i think more or less, it has changed my perspective about this course.. not so bad la compared to what my senior n the other students said bout it..

Ainur & Nefiey.. hihi~ getting excited about the BTn.. or mayBe bored to death listen to the lecture..


somehow i realize tht BTN just taught us to be pure Malaysian. not to say we're not malaysian, but through the realisation, we'll think what's the best for ourselves, our family, our nation, our country n of course for our future~
m glad to attend this course, at least i gained and realised something dat is our decision today will shape our life tomorrow. There are numerous benefit the GOv gave to us, n as Malaysian ppl we should have to be grateful for dat..
For a student like me, the Gov gives me opportunity to further my studies overc..
Gives me the access to the large body of knowledge which available in the surrounding, n the world..
Gives me life to live in peace..
Gives me friends from different races who are really nice..
Gives me hope to have better life in undertaking future..
Gives me future to be a better person n citizen..
Gives me chance to mix with different people with diferent culture n religion while at the same time respect to each other and understand them well..
n mostly, it gives me the feeling of being loyal n love our country..

hmm.. dat's it.. BTn not so bad as ppl has thought about it.. you, yourselves have to experience it. then u'll know how good the programme is..

Horrrayy... Yay.. BAlik...!! everyone tried to take whatever picture as a memory at the U.S BTN

Dear Darling..

Darling~ M really happy to have someone like you..~
U give me more love than i ask~ dar.. i shall love you till the my last breath..
i promise the same things as you promise me..~

I promise we'll never be apart
I promise not to hurt you
I promise to never make you cry
I promise to always trust you
I promise to always love you
I promise not to lie
I promise you forever
I promise to do things right
I promise to always be there
I promise until the end
I promise to be your bestest girlfriend
I promise this forever
I promise you my life
you'r the PEANUT to my BUTTER
you'r the STAR to my BURST
you'r the POP to my TART
you'r the MILKY to my WAY
you'r the FRUIT to my LOOP
you'r the LUCKY to my CHARMS
you'r the ICE to my CREAM
but mostly....
you'r the BEST to my Boyfriend..

3 Days of Happiness

After the long wait of my final exam and always wanted a boyfriend, finally its over and I've archive it. First it's my exam, eventhough is tough then expected but I finnaly manage to do all those papers. Secondly, I have met a guy...Nothing much or neither less. He is the one I've looking for all this while and finally found someone who can appriciate my life and share all his happiness with me.Hoping to go along well forever.Might be my future ones, who knows rite?hehe~

We spend the time together but eventhough 3 days only, he already made my life happy that I've never felt before.The past is past but this has change my life after I met him.

1. He is the one that I've searching for...Finally...
2. He is the one who made my life colourful and happy.
3. He is the one who support me before the exam and everytime I down.
4. He is the one that sacrifice his time just to be with me even his working hours are different from others
5. He is the one who I love the most and far from the rest.
6. He is the one who I can tell my feelings when I was sad or hard. Not other people.
7. He is the one who I met so far, ask me to dream of him at nite before going to bed and share ALL his feelings no matter what happen...How Sweet!!
8. He is the one who cares of me alot.No matter what, he will remind, tell or ask before I do something
9. He is the one I will always remember no matter how far or how long it takes just to get together.
10.He is the one will be my future ones...Love u dar...




Second day, he brought me to Taman Tasik Titiwangsa for fishing trip..Eventhough I have to wake up early about 5.30am, I still cant forget the memorable date that he promise to go fishing with...Tak dapat ikan tak pe, Janji I dah dapat u sayang...



Then on the evening after a rest, we went to The Gardens at Mid Valley for a dinner and a movie at GSC The Signature...what a wonderful day that day...

The 3 days just felt like 3 seconds. Want to be with him more longer but the BTN course is on Monday. haiz~..It will be more happy yet to come

LOVE YOU SAYANG!!!WANNA BE WITH U 4EVER...XOXO

If..

If ever the day comes and you find someone better than me
Juz remember that what i give to you is the best of what i have..
And What i am to you is the best that i can only be..
huhu~ it's hurt me knowing that soon i'll no longer staying here..
If i am given a chance to meet you early.. Am sure we'll not waste any second to be together.
If i am given a chance to stay here, I m definitely wanna stay with you..
haih..
i can't stop thinking bout us..

22. 05.09

Hmm.. i dun noe when i started fall in love wif him..
but officially, i am his gf today la..
hahah~
can't believe dat finally i've found sm1 who really appreciate myself..
dear.. love you~
smthing for you.. hope you'll read this when u have time..

I'll never care for anyone again,
The way i care for you..
I'll never felt that way again,
The way i felt for you..
I'll never be concerned about anyone again,
The way i concern about you..
I'll never laugh again,
The way i laugh with you.
I'll never smile to anyone again,
The way i smile to you..
I'll never wait for anyone again,
The way i wait for you..
I'll never be that happy again,
Cz I'm Happier NoW With YOu..

dear, Thnx for spent ur time with me today..~

A.D.V.E.N.T.U.R.E

HURMM... I FEEL SO FREE AFTER THIS EXAM..
JUST WAITING FOR THE RESULT TO COME OUT.. SO LATER CAN BALIK JOHOR MEET MY HOMIE...
YAYAY..~~
N m THINKING BOUT TO WRITE SOMETHING ON ADVENTURE... LIFE EXPERIENCE,.

THERE'S THIS FUNNY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE
IT CAN COME AND GO LIKE A GUST OF WIND
IT CAN TRADE OFF FROM ONE PERSON TO THE NEXT
UNPREDICTABLE AND UNEXPLAINABLE ARE WHAT IT IS ABOUT
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT'S COMING OR HOW YOU'LL RECEIVE IT
BUT ONCE YOU HAVE IT, YOU'LL NEVER WANT TO LET GO
THOUGH IT OFTEN DOES GO, SHUTTERING YOUR HEART ALONG THE WAY
MAKES YOU NEVER WANT IT AGAIN OUT OF FEAR AND SADNESS
ONLY, SLOWLY YOU HEAL AND SMILE AGAIN
AND SUDDENLY THERE'S NEW FACE THAT MAKE YOUR HEART FLUTTER
SO YOU FORGET YOUR OLD SADNESS WITH YOUR NEW EXCITEMENT
ON OFF IT GOES THROUGHOUT YOUR YOUNG LIFE
AS SAD AS IT MAY SEEM, MOST OF US WILL GO THROUGH PEOPLE AS WE DO CLOTHES
YET SOME HAVE LONG, LOVING RELATIONSHIP.. THAT BLOSSOM INTO MARRIAGE
SOME WONDER WHY PEOPLE PUTT UP WITH IT
IT CAN HURT, STAB YOU IN THE BACK
AND SADLY
EVEN MAKE YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR LIFE
YET THE REWARD SEEMS TO B ETHE CATCH
THE ABILITY TO SHARE WITH SOMEONE
THE SECRETS TOU THOUGHT AND YOU'D CARRY.. TO YOUR GRAVE
TO TRUST SOMEONE WITH ALL YOU HAVE
AND KNOW THAT IT IS RETURNED
RECEIVING UNBELIEVABLE HAPPINESS AND JOY
FROM JUST THE SIGHT OF SOMEONE
ULTIMATELY
IT IS A WONDERFUL FEELING
SHARE BETWEEN TWO
THAT CAN TURN INTO THE ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME..

The end of my Examination..

hurray...
finally, i managed to sit my last examination paper today..
Hoping dat i'll pass all the subject so dat i dun have to sit for referalpaper da...
hm.. but today's paper made me so nervous till death..
why??
because, 1st time in my life, i vomit after read the question in the paper..
i was so surprise and also shock.. it never happen to me before..
i have thought maybe due to nervousness to sit for the last n killer paper made me like dat..
haih..
da la i did not take any single thing before the exam.. just imagine how was i when vomiting...
pun xder aper2 yg keluar except a bitter liquid which make me feel like i'm dying..
m afraid if suddently i collapsed in dat toilet, who are going to find me there??
just before the exam start, i feel better.. pon after i vomit nothing in the ladies..
hmm.. whatver it is, i felt gratefully dat i managed to write until the last sentence for social studies..
i wish for nothing but to pass all the 4 component in my foundation years...
haih..
tamat da 2 years foundation in IPBA..

i wanna cry.. huhu~

this exam week is very tough fo me.. seems like it give tremendous effect in mylife..
fistly, i feel so terrible coz so stress..
2ndly, i feel guilty coz neglecting smbody... i hope she/he understnd dat m not avoiding her/him at all.. after the exam finish, hoping dat everythng will come back to normal..

m so stress.. please understand me~

MiSSing Him~

Can't wait for my exam to finish da~

When we're apart

haih.. thinking of the becoming exam turns my self to be really anxious..
it's inevitable dar~ i have given my full effort into it.. n we'll see either i manage to pass the exam or not.. who wants to be the failure right? i wish m not into dat category.. huhu~
if i pass the exam, i can further my studies.. i will enter a new phase of my life.. i can go to Uk.. n most importantly, i can experience the world myself.. yay!!
Further studies overseas will give me the access to travel here n there.. meeting diffrnt ppl with dffrnt culture.. whoa..i can't wait.. However, i hv to pay for it..
Further studies oversea also means i need to be far apart with my family n beloved one.. huhu~ the separation will definitely broke my heart, are they going to miss me.?? n the crucial 1, am i going to hv the chance to meet them again after 3 years in ovc?? mom, dad, my sista, bby akid n afiq,.. sm1 not to be mentioned, M going to miss u all damn much..
last night, sum1 asked me bout hmm u know la.. dat very important 1 for everyone..love
i try not to think bout it now, but the more i pretend to ignore it, the more my heart says.. "u must make a decision now.. u already hv the answer n what u need to do is juz say YES.." haih~
it's reality dat today's decision will shape my life tomorrow..sooner or later we'll far apart.. i like u damn much.. but if i make a decision now, the separation will hurt u n me more.. i juz want to enjoy every moment with u.. if possible, i want to spend everyday wif u.. haih~
i believe that 3 months n 3 years after this will not the same as today..

Annoyance 2

Annoyance..?? many things will come into my mind, people, sounds., stories, and etc.. but most of the time i get annoy when m lacking of vocab...When examination is coming soon, i started to read as mush as i can to add my vocab, but it seems that it doesn't help me much.. usually, i m lost when i can't find the exact word to be included in my sentence.. haih.. so bad that i sometimes can only produce a piece of sampah.. summore i don't like writing under the time constrain.. i hate it as i have to push my brain to function til the max.. or i must say that i can't generate better idea under stress..

Annoyance

M actually in the library now, alone.. waiting for my classmates- NOah & haikal n few others.. I'm suppose to come here with nini, but since she went out for dinner with pojie, i juz came here dar.. wait for them.. haih... told me dat they will come at 8 pm but when i sampai here, nobody la...
doing nothing now...
hmm.. m thinking n thinking bout nothing come into my mind...
but suddently, m thinking bout anoyyance~...
to be continued.. my friend sampai dah~

Tuesday Morning~

i woke up lazily this morning... haih~ even though the class will start at 11am, i juz bgun awal pg2 neh.. p mandi n sit in front of my laptop.. actlly, dun noe what to write.. but i juz want to write..hmm pg2 lg my sista dah msg me.. usually, i set my alarm at 6.30 am but today bgn at 6.15 smthing coz received msg frm my akak tu le... tunggula hr cerah then boleh la msg.. kaco tido je. i tried to contnue sleeping but couldn't.. bgun le n mandi pas tu~
pagi2 neh cuaca seems vry nice, sejuk je kl dok kt balkoni depan tuh~ tapi xleh la lamer2.. Boring tengk da same view hari2.. plus, when the sun rises, ha jadi hot spot la dat place.. there's no sign today is going to rain.. nk jumpe hujan kn la masuk shower..
last night so hot n couldn't sleep well, again, n felt like slept in an oven.. damn hot~ bile la nk hujan neh..
ish.. blur.... today ader so-called test LDS.. Next week bru the final n real one.. ok... n now ni blur~

Totally depressed~

6 days to go before the final exam which is in this becoming Monday.
hey, i wish i could turn back the time.. so that i would have the chance to be more focus in my studies.. not playing around to much.. spending most of free time in the library doing revision.. and etc..
but, it seems that i can't do anything.. m hopeless.. hu~ i can only think for the exam, what should i do n don't... lecturers still insist want to make classes this week even though this week supposed to be the studyleave.. classes still going as usual, plus lecturers give too much tense to me...
He/she keep remind me that i should do smthing wif my essay... in other words he means that m not really consistent in my LDV subject.., haih... i wish there's a miracle to trnsform me to be more consistent in my writing...
many thing across my mind, esp bout the potential failure.. pass boarderline.. etc... it worries me damn much..!! huhuhu~~~~
what if it happen to me.. it might be becoz as my lectrr said, m not really consistent.. sometimes i was god, but sometimes i can be no good... so bad la... i feel like S#!^...
I WAS REALLY DOWN TODAY...
N I WANNA GO OUT FROM THIS hell situation...
hmmm.....
There's PErTA event this evening n M going to C all those traditional games.. maybe it could release my stress... who knows...
Later, i'll be going to Taman Jaya if the wheather is nice...

Before and After exam...

Everyone has experienced the symptoms of examination, so do i...
examination is inevitable.. yeah.. by hook or by crook every students need to sit for it..unless, he/she purposely study for nothing.. i mean he/she don't have any goals in their life..
i have so many goals, hoping dat one day i'll achieve that goals...
now ni.. i feel so afraid of the exam but pretend juz like nothing bad is going to happen..
haih~
don't know how to explain the feeling... it's juz like decribing how water taste.. completely impossible...
however, imagining the situation after exam making my self so relief and a bit happy~
i can do whatever i want without smbdy tell me wht's right and what's wrong.. i can spent the whole day to go for jalan2.. makan2.. even to do MOvie Marathon...
yayay..!!!
nobody cares what i'm doing..!!
i can sleep and sleep as if i never sleep before...
i can start packing my stuff to go back to Johor.. n meet my homie.. hu seronoknyer..
having quality time with them until the last day before i departed..
n most of all, i can meet sm1 before going back home.. some1 who has being a gd supporter when i was down..
hihi~ i kept tell him i was afraid bout the exam..
sm1 who always remind me to dream about him juz b4 i go to sleep... so cute
hahah~
i'll wait until the exam ends~

My Future Plan...

1. Successfully Graduated from Canterbury Christ Church University, Uk n IPBA
2. Start develop my Career as an ENglish Teacher. I don't want to be posted to Sabah or Sarawak alone.. i need somebody to be my companion there
3. Engage..
4. Married with husband-to-be..??? dun find yet
5. Further Studies- Take Master after 3-5 years working as a teacher
6. Having Babies.. 2 or 3 are enough.. hihi~

Things that worry me~

1. Examination ( 18th may 2009)
2. Scar on my face... haih~ i give up da, this pimple scar can't be cured...
3. P course Biro Tatanegara.. mesti kn brain wash..
4. signature of commissioner of oath tak dapat lagi.. So letter of good conduct x complete lagi..
haih~
5. Balik jb.. x leh nk decide bile nk blik.. right after exam or after result kuar?
6. medical checkup
7. should i buy new laptop??

Sleeping Beauty

haih... exam juz 1 week left.. but i think i need a year to revise everything..
huhu~ i feel so afraid knowing dat if i fail this becoming exam. i will not hv the chance to further my studies...
i feel so exhausted of this study thing.. why must every student sit for an exam.. can we juz do assgnment to pass the course..i've plan to do my revision durng this w'kend, but i end up sleep too much.. i think so.. coz i stayed up late in d n8 n woke up late in the morn...
plus, whenever i feel tired of doing revision, i stop n take a long nap..haaih... i feel like dying to pass the exam.. it's juz like the more i study, the more pening i've become.. an easy thing becomes so complicated..
i tought sleeping will overcome my stress and pening kepala,.
i can't stay in my room as if it is an examination hall... I need to take a fresh air outside, but at the same time i think it will only waste my time.. time is becoming more precious evry second,s every minutes, and every hour...
I can't stop thinking of examnination,. does everyone feel the same??
nervous + Afraid + worries + stress = dying....
huhu~ I feel eager to finish the exam..

So tired..

Cuti mmg menyeronokkan, dpt blik kg, berjaln2 n sumore berjumpa dgn beloved one..
Johor dr KL xder la jauh sangt, 4 jam je dh sampai... Tp bl jaln dah jam, kpl akoo pon bleh jam gak.. hot semacam je.. 3 hari kt umah mmg x puas.. ala cuti setahun kt umah pun x penah nk puas bg akoo..
hmm... beli tiket ke KL last nite, unfortunately, mara liner n trnsnasnal sumer dah sold out. huhu~
ape bus la akoo nk naik blik KL neh?? suddnly, ader uncle neh offer tiket bus double decker kt akoo.. cume extra 6bucks je dr hrga asal.. akhirnya pas kawtim ngn uncle tuh, dapt gak.. yay!!
aku melonjak kegembiraan, tp x der la terlompat2 dowh..
bus akoo kol930. n ak pon terus p kaunter bus tuh.. akak tuh kt bus akoo ader dpn platform 18, tp sebijik bus dble decker pn akoo x nampak.. akoo kesana-sini cari tp xder pon.. hmm dah kol 930 neh, krg x pasal2 akoo kn tinggl.. p blik dat kaunter, akk tuh kt ader da bus,.. maner?? akoo x nampak pon.. hey makcik neh dah lebih neh.. ..
lastly, jmpe da jauh dari tempat yg mak cik sengal tuh cakap..
berpeluh-p2luh akoo kesana-sini cr sebesar-besar bus tuh.. Malangnye.. Penat giler..
ala.. cuti nnti jumpe lagi. x kemaner pon.. sumer ader je kt umah, X bergerak2.. berat ht nk tingglkn family akoo... xpuas la jumpe diorng..
dlm bus, akoo tido je.. keletihan yg teramat.. xc ukup tido pon ader gak.. ala akoo neh mmg kuat tido.. bg 25jam sehari tido pon gaknyer x cukup.. hahah~
sampai KL koo jln p pasar seni, mek train ke kerinchi..
then smpai2, perut lapa, mkn kt scud n blik umah smbung tido.. ptg td kn kuar gak p kl central. cuci gambar pasport.. leceh2.. tp terpksa dah.. esok lecturer nk dah..
penat la.. akoo nk collapse dah neh~ penat...~

I think i've hurt somebody's feeling...

hu~ thousands appologies dear..

i can't decide what's the best for us~ i hv my main focus now, my exam, my future, but it doesn't mean u r less importnt to me..

i felt happy to know u..

i hv reasons why i'm not ready yet..

i mean words dat i said. Truth is always hurt~ but it's life. Perhaps, in the near future, i might fall into u..

but, i can gurantee nothing~ i hope u'll understnd me

please~~
when u read this post,

do not mad at me..

do not avoid me..

do not forget me..

M always here as a friend for u~ nothing can change the fact that i'll always be ur shoulder to cry on..

i'd love to listen to u..

i'd love to share evrythng with u~

I'd love to be ur best close friend..~

the time hasn't come yet...........~

A complete Individual~

i took a quizes and unsurprisingly, it describe me best..
lets us see what it says bout me...

1st quiz.
Nobody could ever tell you what to wear! you have a crazy personality which is reflected in your outgoing clothes. you stand out from a crowd though sometimes not in the best possible way. but your individuality is a gift of its own.

2nd quiz.
You a quite the individual! Good for you! You value tradition, but welcome change. You are intelligent, witty, sensitive, and have a diverse set of friends. You are as comfortable discussing politics as you are baking cookies. You have strong morals and principals and are respected by others. You have a purpose and it will be realized.

3rd quiz
You are very self-conscious, but you are beautiful. You worry about what other people think about you yet you are all they think about. You are very caring and sweet, but you can be aggressive.

4th quiz
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.

The secret of my Name..

Tell you the truth bout my name.. mostly Accurate la...

S : Anda seorang yang berpengetahuan.

H : Anda tidak suka menghakimi sesuatu/orang.

A : Anda menjadi sangat pendiam apabila anda sedang memikirkan sesuatu.

L : Anda sangat percaya dengan cinta dan mudah tengelam ke dalamnya.

I : Selalu tersenyum dan membuat orang lain tersenyum.

L : Anda sangat percaya dengan cinta dan mudah tengelam ke dalamnya.

A : Anda menjadi sangat pendiam apabila anda sedang memikirkan sesuatu.

H : Anda tidak suka menghakimi sesuatu/orang

WHAt M i doin NOW??

watch Asian Food Channel...
Pretend xkesah pasal EXAM...
nmpk cm sedap tuh, the way he prepare dat food pn ader style... hahah~
akooo suke la kt JAmie Olivers..

NO more UNNECCESSARY things...

wht are unneccessary thiings??
1. Care bout other people- Lntakla korng nk buat aper now neh.. i'm not the one who control ur life
2. Keep score-- Akoo pon dah x kesah korng nk ckp blakang. molot korng kn...sendiri jage la.. wht u give, u'll get it back...
3. Selfish- nk bg pinjam buku pon teragak2.. hey, x RUGI aper2 la bg pnjm kejap pown
4. Love- lagi la x perlu.. it had messed my life once, n i dont want it.
5. Banned junior- hahha.. x perlu kusut2 lagi dah.. m not their coordinator. their life is not mine.. kl rase nk jd better person, x perlu ader raser bongkak n megah diri... we are all human. every n each of us is not perfect at all. If u be nice, i can be nice too..
6. Jeolousy- kl untuk kebaikkn mmg digalakkn. Examples, tngk orng pandai, kiter msti berusaha jadi pandai gak... BERUSAHA, BERUSAHA..!! akooo mesti rajin dan kurangkan tido petang..!!
tp kl jeles orng sbb orng tuh lg HOT, CAntik n GEdikZ... buang mase je nk jeles2 neh.. X mendatangkan kebaikkan langsung...
7. Day dreaming- walau kdg2 orng kata "Tanpa angan2, Tiada Impian"- x berape nk ingt la aper ayat tuh.. tapi lebih kurang kot.. Angan2 ZERO mmg la xder manfaat.. Buang mase n IDEA ader la.. buat essay 1 Mesti la lame siap.. tapi besenye dgn angan2 orng xder mase depan..
Melainkan angan2 + USAHA = kejayaan...
8. Boyfriend- sumer orng gembira ader boyfriend, n akoo turut tumpang bahagia untuk diorng.. mslhnyer bl ader bf neh, tendency untuk loss focus on study amat la TINGGi..
wht are the main factors?? neh yang akoo raser la.. sbb it happen to me once
> waste time & money- use to call n msg lots, mmg la buang duit.. kl saving dh bleh beli bnde lain. Mase yg ptt dgunakn untk bersama family pn tada, hilang.. sbb dok bz dating bl wkend. hilang dah quality time ngn family, hubungan pon makin renggang coz akak akoo pkir ako lebih pentingkan kawan dr family.. huhu~
> loss Focus n commitment on studies- pointer akoo kat matrik dolu jatuh teruk. sedey2... impian nk mek architecture punah..
> Lackadaisical attitude- masa byk dibuang ngn bf. pattnya leh study. kt je nk jd better person, tp dolu x beringat time bercinte. My performance pon turut decrease sbb dok sibuk berdating n smSing ngn bf. X buat keje satu hal..
> Procrastination- sumer bertangguh. Ala assigment buat satu malam pon boleh.. tengok sendiri la results assignment akoo.. ke BANYAKKAN sumer C. keje2 lain bertimbun-timbun buat TAK HERAN je.
> take things easy- ala bercinte suke2. IT WILL NOT AFFECT MY STUDIES..!! betolke? akoo rase bercinte la paling memudaratkan.. emotionally terganggu.. orng bercinte pon actlly kn ader commitment ngn their partner. kl dah x msg n call sehari, mesti kiter risau right? n pikir bukan2 of course la.. biler result exam/test/ assignment terookk.. owh xpe, ader mase nk berubah.. tapi x berubah-ubah pon. makin hangt bercinta smpai lupe diri ader la...
haih.. teruk betol diri akoo dulu2..
> LUPE DIRI- jadi orng neh kn beringat, kiter neh ader tanggungjawab. x kesahla kat family ke. kwan2 ke. n penting skali tnggjwb as student. nk jadi orng berjaya PERLUKAN PENGORBANAN yg besar. bukan soh korbankan diri.. gila ka..
tapi orng yg x beringt cam akoo dulo2 hampir memusnahkan masa depan. Seb bek TERSEDAR DIRI.. bf kiter x dapat tolong kiter pon time exam. Die LAgi BODOH ader la.. geram betol akoo kt Ex-bf.. hish...sakit hati.
> DAMn BODOH- alor.. blaja tinggi2 sampai masuk u, ader diploma, degree n so on.. tp pmpuan neh mmg da synonym dngn title "WEAK". mudah dipergunakn and lemah. Akooo regret bkapel dolu. Wah, sblum berkapel, evrything so nice,.. bunge2 cinte yng macam HAPE?? after dat, kn toyin n diperbodohkn cm kiter neh ader APE2... LONG-DISTANCE relatnship sngt berbhaya. akoo ditipooo bulat2 and bersegi2.. akoo punyer la setia.. tapi kt blakang my ex bermain kayu 3.. macam &*%^.. n realitynya, ssetengah lelaki x penah cukup ngn sorng pompuan. N pmpuan kdg2 gatal gak. dah tau lelaki tuh ader gf.. LAGI DOK SEBOK MENGGEDIK. selagi x dapat selagi tula die meggatal. MACAm WHORE je..!! Berkapel ngn sum 1 tak bererti KITER KAWIN DENGAN DAT PERSON..!!
I wont give my heart to anybody after this.. cubela dolu kan...

hmm... dat's it. NO Idea nk citer ape lg dah~

What type of element i belong to??

hmm... wht's elemnt? xtau la akoo... i juz took da quiz kt Fc and wanted to post it...

Shasha telah mengetahui "Unsur Kejadian dan Sifat"
Shasha baru saja mengetahui hubungkait Unsur Kejadian dan Sifat dan dia adalah Berunsur Tanah

1) Merendah diri,serta hormat dan patuh, setia serta rela berkorban.
2) Tidak cerewet, tidak meninggi diri, tidak sombong dan bukan seorang pemarah.
3) Tenang diri, aman, dan memberi sokongan.
4) Tidak suka membantah atau membangkang.
5) Berwatak manis, lemah lembut, bersih dan sentiasa menjaga kecantikan.

now, i realize i'm from tanah...
padahal dah lamer tau.. cume sifat2 unsur tanah neh je different from the others...
in fact, human have their own behaviour la kan?? we're all frm tanah.. N one day we'll be become a tanah Again ma~

Wahahaha seronoknya blik rumah~

Gembira sungguh berada di rumah sendiri.. nk buat aper2 pun mudah.. click 1 jari, everything muncul (tipoooooo sungguh)...
Paling mnyeronokkkn, hari2 ku dirumah ditemani pasangan ideal ku yg sangt memahami.. x lain x bukan TV le.. he's everythng.. magic sungguh tv. aper2 je kemahuanku pasti die turuti..
kepebende tuh??? TV la.. kan dah mentioned early..
TV ader macam2.. hihi~ common thing la kan segala info n story ader kt dlm TV.. TV mmbhagiakan diriku.. xperlu ader org lain, TV cukup la.. i can laugh, smile n even cry alone.. wahahaha....

yesterday is history, Today is reality & Tomorrow is Mystery~

hmm... yesterday, i was a naive little girl, know nothing much bout this life.. life is interesting, yet challenging.. i have met diffrent people with diffrent charactristics, lifestyle, attitudes & behaviour... they're all differ to each other, but wht's make them similar is they all have heart and feeling. People hv the right to do what they like and what they don't. N also to like and to admire other people.
I faced a love failure once n i dont want it to happen again. i suffered a lot. Now i realise that m not suppose to hv the relatnship. i wasted my precious time.. i let my self to be fooled,.
haih..~ so saKit hati when i remmber back those mmories..~ whatever it is, yesterday is history~
Today is reality. I hv been so-called a single ldy for quite some times.. hihi~ n M proud of it. I wnt to prove to my self that i can live without Bf, i don't depend on them to be wht i wanted to.
n Tomorrow is mystery.. i didn't say that i wnt to be forever single n available. hOping that one day i'll meet some1 who really appreciate me. smbody who can be there when i need some1 to talk to.. somebdy loves me more than i love him..
i'll be waiting for him..

Tell me why..~

Hmm.. exam juz around the corner..
15 days left for the final exam.. everyone seems stress.. they express it differently.
For it, if i feel stress i will go out somewhre, take a deep breath and death.. hahah.. no lar
i would rather call my homie and talk with them..
but, some people more likely to talk about other people, what else, gossipping la..
haih, seem dat they hv nothing to do except gossip.. i want to make confession dat i'm actlly used to gossipping.. if i think it is neccessarily thing to inform other people or i felt hurt (unsatisfied).
i realise dat what u give, u'll get it back. same goes to me if i talk about other people.
the truth is sometime i do care what people has talked bout my, myself. i often be the victim of gossipping becoz i'm free-hair..
huu~ aiyoohh... they like to judge people from it's appearance..
somebody, tell me why must i am treatened this way?? am i look so jahat juz becoz m free-hair.??
one thing for sure is i do not bother people's life. so why must them bother mine??
haih~
i've grown up, no need someone to tell me to to this, to do that.. if i want to wear a tudung, it's up to me la..
i will, yes, definitely one day i'll wear a tudung.. everyone want to change to be better..
so do i, i will change for the sake of my life.. one day, i'll wearing tudung when i become a teacher at the later stage or when i think it is a must to make a turning point in my life.
p/s: do people always "pandang rendah" to free-hair person like me?