Day 2- Snowing

Winter finally comes again this December, i am glad it will be White Christmas this year..

I miss my munchkin.
We used to play together at this time.
The white icy landscape remind me of him..
Dear munchkin.. I want you to know my love for sayang as pure as white snow.
Wish to hug you right now~

MY fragile Heart

If you know what you mean to me..

You will love me like I do~
We Joke
We Laugh
We smile
We stare each other eyes
We hug
We hold hand
We kiss
We Cried..

most importantly
WE LOVE EACH OTHER

Wilson & Shasha

Dear
You teach me how to love n be loved
The greatest feeling i ever felt is when i be with you
I always want your love more & more
Thank you for giving me the most wanted feeling in this world
I HEART YOU..

Flower

I feel like wanna write about flower bcoz i saw some of the picture in my folder.

I like flower especially roses. Used to have it last time when i stay in Freeman Court. I took care of it everyday and finally there's the flower buds..
There was few of them n i keep watering the roses with some blue solution. The fertaliser kinda of things.
I love roses because its RED..! i Love red.!
I think red symbolise Heart, Love and Passionate..
lols
Come on.. Lets take a peep of some of the picture..


I used this photo in the short video clip I'd made specially for Munchkin




This was taken by Munchkin when he was here. First attempt to use Sony DSLR, not bad i guess.

Peach Slices

What to do with peach? i am hungry so i am eating peach while writing this post.
I just cannot stop thinking about him. I am worried about him. I want to hear his voice again. I wanna tallk with him like i always did. I love to hear him nag at me.
I just missing him a lot, I am sick of love.. Sayang.. Wait for me. Could you?? PLEASE.....~ dear.. i don't want to lose you..
My future has nothing if i lose you..
Peach.. will you make my wish come true? I wish i can get married with him now without disappointing my parents. I wish i can be with him now..
Peach, please...talking about peach, i can still vividly remember how my sayang remind me not to eat sweet thing too often, but the peach is delicious. you can try if you don't believe in me.. It's just Asda brand, but still i like and addicted to peach.

huhuks.. i just cannot GET him out of my mind, every single thing i am doing, just remind me of him.. how can i forget the time we spend together all this while? How come?? he's too special in my heart, my heart unwillingly to forget him every seconds, everyday, every moment i took my breath in.
Sayang..!!! I love you so much.. Forgive me coz leaving you alone there, i feel so much pain in my heart. n i am sure we both cannot be separated, i cannot live without you dear...!!!
I wish to get married with you now and my parents bless us..!! we'll be together forever..~

"Ya Allah, makbulkan lah permintaan ku"...

7th day

A week after he went back to Malaysia.
It's just ma alone here.. pursuing what i wanted, to fulfill what my parents wants..
Thinking back how we met, how the relationship grows stronger and more stronger everyday, how he came to the UK to be with me, how wonderful everything is, how the time has stopped when i was with him , how everything changed, how he had to go back to Malaysia, how i was sending him back and how deep i love him..
I have found my true love, indeed.
I have responsibility to be here, never give up to make him understand. But, he it was never.. How? what i'm suppose to do? It's so hard to make a decision, either to break my parents heart, or lose him?
I don't want either, both are important. I am taking risk if i go back now, everything will be ruined, my parents hope, our future.. maybe he can't see my point there. Frankly, if i quit.. i have to prepare lots of effort to return what once i have got. The money, i don't mind.. he will support me, we will work together.. for how long? i don't know. how about your family trust? will they forgive you? will they allow you to get married with him?
They WILL if i finish my studies. yes.. they will,.
Just if you don't finish studies, you will never get what you want. They will never ever allow you to get married, they won't forgive what you've done. You'll lose both, family and love. You'll regret what you've decided.
think..
the answer is in your hand... You make the decision.
remember, you can't turn back later. This will surely affect your entire life.

But, i love him.. i willing to do everything for him to be mine? then why don't you go for it? i cannot ruin my future.. huhuks..
"you will never listen to me, you will never do something for me..!!"
It's all my fault, i cannot do even single thing for him.. i am useless. you know what? You will get him if he willing to wait. but he doesn't want to wait and i will lose him at any time.
He loves you.. you just give him torn by asking him to wait. let him go? NO..!! i will never, i will choose to live alone till i die, but never ever to turn back on him. It's just him in my heart untill i die.. i will choose to suffer as long as he be happy. i will choose to wait for him until he come back to me.. even though it means i have to suffer, be alone for the rest of my life..
My love will never fade away..
I swear to myself..!!

I am missing you~

I don;t have any idea where to start.. it has been ages since last time i wrote something in this blog..

Actually, i am missing someone a lot.. My special one, Wilson. I love you dear. i just cannot forget every single thing we had done together, what we had gone though.. everything stick in my mind and i just cannot erase it.

Its so hard to let you go, and watched u walking out of the door, i am terribly sad because i have to live alone afteer this.

who will take care myself? who will cheer me whenver i feel down? who will say something nice to me? who will laugh and wipe my tears?

who will love me like the way you love me? Who??

it's only you who can make my life happy sayang~

>

One day, u came to me in the UK, i felt i was so lucky and could not believe it.. but it was true.. u standing in front of me. Then, one day you are gone..

went back to Malaysia where we belong. i need you..!! I need you in my life...!! i am so stupid coz let you go. i want you dear.. how to get you back.. i'm scared i might lose you anytime.. how to get you back..

sayang..

i miss you so much..

deep inside my heart i just want you, dear.. to have back all the time we spent together..

it's just you and me,.

i love you....

Please Forgive Me..

huhu~
Dar.. i didn't wish for this separation. U know how much u really meant to me right??
everyday, i love u more n more.. i never get tired of loving you.. you r my everything... one of the important person in my life, one of the precious things i have..
i don't mean to leave you.. really, if i have choices, i would choose to stay with you rather than going far away.. but as i mentioned, this is faith..
Dear, i wish u'll have happy n good life without me.. it's only 3 years.. i hope u can wait for me..
Dear~ sorry for dat i ought to go..leaving you here, alone.. remember sayang, m also be alone.. i dun noe how i'm going to survive wthout u there.. but i Will give my best to mantain our Long distance relationship.. i will come back to you.. i will keep my promise.. I will meet you again.. i will...!!
Dear~ i cannot lose you.. u r all i wanted in this life..
huhu~ i dun noe what to say da~
please forgive me coz i have to go..
please forgive me coz leaving u..
please forgive me coz i cannot take care of you after this..
please forgive me coz i cannot be with you all the times..
please forgive me coz we had met too late n no much time left for us to be together..
please forgive me coz i cannot stay here longer..
please forgive me if i hurt you during the times we'd spent together..
please forgive me if i had make you cry..
please forgive me for any stupid mistakes i had done before..
please forgive me for words that make u sad..
please forgive me sayang..
please forgive me, I cannot Stop loving you~
this is what my heart saying.. dear~ please forgive me..

I hate Loneliness...

haih~...
M dying now.. soon, i'll be going back to Johor.. Later, fly da to UK..
leaving everything n everyone i love here esp my parents n beloved boyfriend, wilson..
dar~ m thnking... thinking.. n thnking.. what will happen to you n me.?? huhuh~
m so scared to live alone without you.. without smone who will take care my self..
3 years.. its not 3 days.. imagine the days without u only makes me damn scare, pressure, stress to death, n want to mati.. why dis happen to me? when i've found smone who i really trust, then suddnly we've to berpisah.. God..!! why?? why? why? n why??
i wish dis is juz a dream, but unfortunately it is NOT..!!
huhuhu~
my life gonna be damn bored without you..
my days gonna be dull, colourless..
My smile means nothing..
My tears is in vain.. evnthough how much it pour down my cheek, the reality is, it will not change the fact we have to be far apart..
My night will become so empty...
My heart gonna break into thousand pieces whenever i'm missing you~
dar~ My hope is gone without you~

how do i live without you~

Dar.. i love you full of my heart..I hope u r not tired listening to this, the same thing again n again.. i juz want you to know dat there's no other man inside here, in my heart.. you r the only one i love now, at this moment, tmorrow, the becoming days, until the day i die..
dar~ i want to spent the rest of my life with you.. u know what i mean right??
we have talk about our becoming 3 years so many times.. sometimes i felt so bored to talk the same topic again,
i never stop thinking bout ur life, about us.. m less thinking bout my self as if it's not important da this time.. i want you to be happy.. how can i make sure dat u'll be happy?? i also dunnnoe..i know it gonna be very hard for you to let me go.. as u said, "have to".. i'll never ask you to let me go because i dont want to stay apart. but i realise dat this is the truth, tha faith.. by hook or by crook i hv to go.. huhu~ truth is always hurt..
dar~ do you know smthing,? i've been crying everyday knowing dat soon we'll be far apart.. m so scared to death to live my life without u..
there's no YOU to stay besides me..
to sing a song for me..
to remind me to take care of myself..
to call me everyday..
to share your story with me..
to comfort me..
to tell me i'm special eventhough I'm not..
TO GIVE ME MORE LOVE EVEN I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT..
to whisper "I LOVE YOU" to me..
to give Company when i needed
to wipe my tears..
to share happy moment..
to laugh together..
to cry together..
to listen to me..
to give me strength when i'm down..
to do things together..
to watch the moon n stars together..

there's no you to share my life with..

Dear darling Wilson, with my heart, body n soul, I sincerely, badly, positively love you..
i never fall into someone else like the way i fall into you~
How do i live without you..
tell me dar..

Thanks Darling~

Dar~ i'd love to say thousand thnk you for your time to cook for me..
hmm..nyum.. nyum.. it's delicious, Yup serious.. M totally full dat night.. hihi~
dun noe why suddenly m was thinking of asking you to cook for me.. n you just agreed.. dar~ love you..
felt so lucky to know dat someone is willlig to do anything for you.. Haih i couldn't help you to masak la dear.. know nothing.. m afraid if i kacau u, later everythng will mess up.. huhu~
i could only watch you. m truly happy.. so syok watching my chef cook in the kitchen.. everythng seemed so easy for him.. hahah..of course la, he's a chef what..
dear~ thnk you dar~
for the wonderful dinner~

I'm really mean it..!!

Dar. i want you to know that this s my decision, My final decision n i dont want to think about it anymore~ I ONly WANT you n FOREVer LOVE yoU..!!
NOw, at this time, this moment, n the becoming hours, days N next 3 YEARS, i WILL STICK with YOu..ok
N I will not look for other guys.. i just want you.!! i will never get tired of loving you..
if i have to tell you 100times per day that i want to live wif u.. i will coz i need you.. i cannot lost you~ dear.. i love you..!!!

I can't Live without You~

Dar~
i will always remember this song that u sang to me.. Now i know that ur love for me is real.. i can stop dreaming because the reality is finally better than the dream..
i love you~

No, I cant forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess thats just the way this story goes,
You always smile....
But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I cant forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrows
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now its only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I cant live
If living is without you
I cant live
I cant give anymore
Cant live
If living is without you
cant give,
I cant give anymore

A Love note for Dar~

I wonder if you know how very happy you make me
and that any kindness you show me is never overlooked.
When i'm near you, the world is a better place~
When you touch me, it takes my breath away~ and it feels so good~
I don't want it to ever stop
I believe nothing can ever hurt me again as long as I'm in your arms~
When i look into your eyes, my fear n anxiety n Doubt all vanish~
and I see a man who is so special and strong and loving
You make me feel like royalty, I'm so incredibly happY..
and my deepest Wish
Is that I stir something like that within you too..
In the meantime~
I'm LOVING every moment I spend with you~..

A Daily Reminder for the ONE I LOVE

Dar~ soon.. i'll no longer here, to laugh with you, to smile with you, to cry with you..n to be with you.. but please do not forget all the memories that we shared together.. deep inside my heart, i dont really wanna go to uk.. Go to uk means i have to leave you here n i hv to get through the becoming days alone, which i'm afraid to do it without u besides me~
Dar~ don't forget everythng that we shared together. eithr the gd or bad one. i shall not forgeting you~ u r part of me. I have to leave u but one day i'll come back to get it back.. hope dat u can take a gd care of urself.. promise me dar~ dont take too much cigarretes, u r worrying me dear~ i Love YOu soooooo MUCH that i cannot let my beloved one Sakit, or suffer, or even torture himself juz to make me happy n release stress.. i promise you to share everythng.. please dont let ur emotion control ur rational. i will be back as same person u met before.. not more not less, i will be back to you sayang~ you r my soul, my Life, my reason for me t keep breathing~...

The card that i gave to you.. iF dont hv time to read it.. here i write it back what does it say.. at least whenver u online, u may read it here~ love u damn much sayang~

We say "I LOVE YOU" just about Every day..
Sometimes the words are whispered as we fall asleep at night..
Sometimes they're spoken at the end of a phone conversation
Or accompanied by a quick kiss as we rush out the door~
The Words are always there,
But Sometimes we forgot to think about
How much they Really MEAN.
Every time you Hear me say..
Those three little words,
I want you to remember that
They're coming from the bottom of MY HEART..~
I want you to remember that I LOVE YOU~
For everything you are
And for everything I am with you..
I want you to remember that you're
The best Person I'v ever known~
And i Feel SO LUCKY to have you in my life~
I want you to remember that TRUE LOVE is forever~
And there is No LOVE truer than
the LOVE I FEEL FOR YOU..!!
I want you to remember that you're
THe MOst WONDERFUL THING
that has Ever Happened to me,
MY HAPPY ENDING~
My DREAM COME TRUE~
My friend n MY LOVE
All Wrapped up in ONE..

I LOVE YOU..!!!

Someone i LOve

Dear dar.. we know that sometimes time moves extremely fast for us. we can't do anythng to stop it. n it seems dat we dont have much time left to be together. i wish i won't miss every single second to be with you.. haih~ but dat's totally impossible, right? there's something i can do for us now.. I'll make you happy n create as many sweet memory as i can until the day i left to uk, n to do dat i'm willing to sacrifice anythng for u,. esp my time..
i dont mind to stay here longer juz to be with you dar.. i dont mind to wait for hours until u fnsh ur work, because i know the fact that i will have the opportunity to see u again.. to see ur smile, to hear ur voice.. n to feel ur love dar~ u mean everythng for me.. i love u more thn anythng i love in my life. dar~ i wish ur birthday wish will come true.. so nothng can tear us apart.. dar~ i will wait for u no matter how long it takes to be together.. i juz want to marry u n spend all the days with u. i want u to be my life partner, i want you to be my hubby, my family, my life, my WORLd, my EVERYtHINg. i want to share evertng in this life. i can't wait for it..

Dear Darling..

Darling~ M really happy to have someone like you..~
U give me more love than i ask~ dar.. i shall love you till the my last breath..
i promise the same things as you promise me..~

I promise we'll never be apart
I promise not to hurt you
I promise to never make you cry
I promise to always trust you
I promise to always love you
I promise not to lie
I promise you forever
I promise to do things right
I promise to always be there
I promise until the end
I promise to be your bestest girlfriend
I promise this forever
I promise you my life
you'r the PEANUT to my BUTTER
you'r the STAR to my BURST
you'r the POP to my TART
you'r the MILKY to my WAY
you'r the FRUIT to my LOOP
you'r the LUCKY to my CHARMS
you'r the ICE to my CREAM
but mostly....
you'r the BEST to my Boyfriend..

MiSSing Him~

Can't wait for my exam to finish da~

I think i've hurt somebody's feeling...

hu~ thousands appologies dear..

i can't decide what's the best for us~ i hv my main focus now, my exam, my future, but it doesn't mean u r less importnt to me..

i felt happy to know u..

i hv reasons why i'm not ready yet..

i mean words dat i said. Truth is always hurt~ but it's life. Perhaps, in the near future, i might fall into u..

but, i can gurantee nothing~ i hope u'll understnd me

please~~
when u read this post,

do not mad at me..

do not avoid me..

do not forget me..

M always here as a friend for u~ nothing can change the fact that i'll always be ur shoulder to cry on..

i'd love to listen to u..

i'd love to share evrythng with u~

I'd love to be ur best close friend..~

the time hasn't come yet...........~

A single love, MY WORLD

I learn many things in my life,
i learn to appreciate
i learn to hate
i learn to give n take
mostly, i learn to love
hmm...
from a colourless piece of cloth, now i'm mature
n full of experiences
i always need love..
love makes me happy
love makes me smile
love makes me live to the fullest
love makes me breath
love makes me care about other people
love coloured my life

A single rose can be my garden... a single LOVE, my world.

CRUSH..

.. it remind me bout the song which is singing by David Archuleta..
hurm... after faced with few times heart broken, i never fail to like smbdy..
huhu~
so stupid, am i?
i like the way he speak to me..
i like him, for he's the real him
i like him for being so nice to me..
even though we 're far apart, i like the way he sms me, feel that we're juz a meter away..
hahah~
fnkly speaking, i like him so much..
hope to c him everyday..
i miss his smile, i miss his laugh..
i miss every words from him, my heart is singing a love song for him..