23th birthday..

It doesn't matter whether I'm in the UK or another part of the world.. I'm still myself.
30 January 2011
I was born 23 years ago.
1st birthday- babbling and trying to sing birthday song..lol..
2nd birthday- crying a lot to get attention
3rd birthday- copying what sibling speak to me
4th birthday- Mom gave me a little sister
5th birthday- Having a doll and talking alone with her
6th birthday- Drawing on house wall.. having me own art gallery..lol
7th birthday- went to Primary school
8th birthday- Got 1st place for internal exam
9th birthday- Dad bought me a red bicycle
10th- Had 1st fight with a boy, i WON..!!
11th birthday- Angah (big brother) gave me turquoise dress
12th birthday- One step closer to a teenage life- Puberty and get 5A for UPSR
13th birthday- Went to secondary school- Chubby old times..lol.. & Mom bought me Computer..
14th birthday- Met wonderful people- Pitol, Azie, Ilot, Zaza, Nana, Alim, Mizi, Ira, Ogie, Abg and Fadil~ (BFF)
15th birthday- Got 8A's for PMR and had campfire farewell party with BFF
16th birthday- Went to boarding school, Performing Zapin (traditional Dance) during school events
17th birthday- Dad bought me HP (Sony Ericson Butterfly) & Dorm mates did a surprise party for me~
18th birthday- Sister gave me laptop when i entered Johor Matriculation College & got the greatest roomates (susu, dedey, and lai pui man)
19th Birthday- Mom and Dad sent me to college in KL
20th birthday- Mom gave me gold necklace
21st birthday- Went to UK & met future husband..lol, Went Genting with Him
22nd birthday- Went to Chill, Got Prezzies- Teddy bear..lol
23rd birthday- Wonderful self-baking cake from my housemate, Ilatito Grimaldi~ gorgeous necklace.. !!!

p/s: Million Billion Trillion thanx for making my special day so special..!!! hug & kisses for Ilatito Grimaldi for baking a tiramisu cake for me..!!!
i really really really really appreciated that gal..lol
:) SO happy..!!!!

Just a simple thing

hm.. interesting when someone criticized other ppl but she/he seemed didn't think about it beforehand, what a shame....
to those person.. just mind your own business, its not your life after all.. do you think you really have the right to critic on others? its not just their business, but talking about other just make yourself look pathetic and worst? why so jealous, is it?
haih~
stop doing it coz ppl might hate you becoz of the attitude. do you know how many people have been humiliated? hurt? because of your comment? worst, it is not just that, their entire life might be ruined becoz of the things u have said, and wrote... becoz of the rumors, other start to think bad about the people you condemn. Imagine if this happen to you one day.. coz what goes around, comes around.. enough with the public gossiping about other people life. what matter is, it is you.. so hard to let others live peacefully... there's no other thing to talk? so happy when make up stories and spread it? exaggerate things huh? you treat that person this way, somehow.. u get it back.. look surrounding.. you r so happy with your life,? with your friends? everything goes like you wanted it to be? you get good grades for your study? you never be satisfied right? never feel guilty when u talked bad thing about someone? do you know your best friend also talked bad things behind you. u never realise right, bcoz u don't know.. trust them as if they can be trusted.. so pity..
obviously, they are very good actor in front of you.. congrates to them and so sorry to you.. although, i knew lots of thing.. but i keep it n not to tell you coz if i tell, it might end up u lose precious friend who u depend on too much,.. extremely pity to poor ppl who losing her trusted friend. By now, u should realise why bother about other people life is a problem?

why don't you let them go live peacefully and do things what they want. they are not burdening you, not bothering your life... so... what else.. let them live their own life.. simple is it??

BETTER DIE ON THE WAY

I will better die too...
hmm..life is a journey, this is a long journey, we don't know when we will die.. maybe tomorrow, next month, or even the next second.. we don't know..
i just wish i can die peacefully and before that, i wanna make everyone happy before i go forever..
My only wish, i wish evryone forgive what i have done to them and will never forget me..
i will tahan all the suffer, as long as my love one happy..
i will fulfill what they want, i will fullfill what they wish before i die..

mY saYang

Doing nothing at home.. i looked at him.. n he looked at me back.. hahah~

only dat evening he reach my home, we went ronda2 my kampung..

nothing much at my kg, only d people who looked my dear so pelik as if my dear was alien..

B4 going home, we went to desaru for late lunch.. n go jalan on the beach..

cant stay there longer coz have to balik da~

Yay....!! i was sooooooooooooooooooo happy that my sayang went to my house.

Hurm.. never expected that he'd meet my parents this early.. hihih.. N my parent were okay da..

hope that my dear has enjoyed the days at my home..

Eventhough he had been with me for less than 24hrs, But M really happy... dun noe da how to describe my feeling.. yeah.. m trully happy..

AK-47

It is not a weapon.. no lar~ actually it is my coursemate, all together 47 person includes my self... After two years went through hurdles, challenges and pains.. nOw we already pass the examination.. the final examination which is the determination whether or not we can go to UK.. we'll be going to further our studies in B.ED TESL at Canterbury Christ Churh University..n it will take 3 years to be there.. huhu~ how m i going to survive in another country which full of strangers.. they're European, so tall n big.. but me, myself.. like an ant walking besides to an elephant.. huhu~ so scared...hmm. forget bout it... no time to think.. i wil survive..!! yeah...~ huhu.. MAYBE i can..

Dear friends... CONGRATULATION TO ALL...!!
WISH U ALL THE BEST OF LUCK..~

Yesterday~

What happen yesterday?? nothing much.. i was still breathing n enjoying the day. Yesterday is MOnday, of course.. Yesterday Was 1st of Jun, means dat i have about 3 months left to be with my family n beloved sayang, wilson.. Yesterday was my Bf off day.. Yesterday i went to WismA Putra, to make the letter of good conduct~
Yesterday i went out with Darling n his cousins.. Yesterday.. Yesterday.. Yesterday.. Today will be Yesterday.. sometimes People who you know yesterday, will not be the same ppl as today~ Haih.. Why life is extremely complicated??!! somebody can explain it to me? Why i cannot do everything i want?? Why i cannot decide on smthing myself?? Why it's to hard to make a decision?? Why sometimes i felt like so stupid, a dummy to be exact?? Tell me why i have to face this and that? tell ME...!!

5 Days in US

First n foremost, US as mentioned before, stnd fo Ulu Sepri, serembn, N.9..

Fist day, after taklimat kursus and everything, back to so-called dorm.. Kemas2 katil, went mandi n Dinner.. 1st actvty dat night was lecture about Tanah Air = Malaysia..So penat after 2 n half hours journey, eventhough x der la jauh sngt ngn KL tp still mengantuk.. Or maybe sebetulnya i kuat tido.. hihi~ tersengguk2 time dengr the laecture by encik shukri, ketua facilitator kt BTN~ m not showing any sign of interested during dat lecture.. just thinking bout my love one in KL, my Dear DArlig Wilson.. Positively, I miss him..!!

Second day, arghhhh.... have to wake up early.. oh gosh.. last night i couldn't sleep well n now i hv to wake up at 5am.. huhu~ it was torturing me. Knowing dat i hve to attend each activities, i woke up. mandi n went to sembahyang at surau~ The morning just nice to have a gd sleep n dream of my darling but have to bangun la pulak.. haih~
again, during the kuliah subuh.. My Eyes slowly close n i went to my dreamland.~ continue ith last night lecture, this time the presenter focused on the other topic which are Rakyat, KeraJaan n Daulat.. 4 important aspect in a country~ t the time was moving so slow like kure2 i think.. but more slower thn kure2 la dat time.. huuhu~ keep thinking bout my darling, what is he doing there.. does he miss me like i do?? cannot pay attetion to the presenters.. sleepy + miss someone = Tido...hihi~
Miss dear wilson a lot..!!

Third day, the LdK session have started at 2nd night there.. we're divided into 8 group.. n me with few others students from my college were in the same group.. haih~
2 days past and 3 days to go.. i badly miss my beloved one.. my dear darling wilson~ Miss u badly sayang.. when i was there, everything seemed to be uneasy.. mandi xkena, tido xlena, makan also x kenyang.. loVEsick lor~

Fourth day.. yes2..!! one day to go.. tomorrow will be the last day in BTN.. eager to meet my sayang... LOve., Wait for me until i finish my BTn.. hmm everyday during the BTn, mY DARling neveR missed one single day to give me A phone call.. i cannot live without him.. eventhough how exhausted n sleepy i was, i still want to hear his voice everytime before i went to bed..

Fifth day.. Horrayy....!! finally, the end of the course.. i want to meet my darling as soon as possible, feel like to hug him n won't let him go.. 5 days like 5 years. i have to wait n wait until sometimes i felt like want to escape from the BTN.. evnthg M not physically abuse, but i think my emotion has been tortured badly.. It worth it to wait until the last day becoz you know dat someone is patiently waiting for you outside there.. n he also feel the same as you do. the Separation somehow taught us to be more patient, understanding one's situation n mostly to miss someone with full of ur heart~
baby.. i LOve you so much..!!

If..

If ever the day comes and you find someone better than me
Juz remember that what i give to you is the best of what i have..
And What i am to you is the best that i can only be..
huhu~ it's hurt me knowing that soon i'll no longer staying here..
If i am given a chance to meet you early.. Am sure we'll not waste any second to be together.
If i am given a chance to stay here, I m definitely wanna stay with you..
haih..
i can't stop thinking bout us..

i wanna cry.. huhu~

this exam week is very tough fo me.. seems like it give tremendous effect in mylife..
fistly, i feel so terrible coz so stress..
2ndly, i feel guilty coz neglecting smbody... i hope she/he understnd dat m not avoiding her/him at all.. after the exam finish, hoping dat everythng will come back to normal..

m so stress.. please understand me~

When we're apart

haih.. thinking of the becoming exam turns my self to be really anxious..
it's inevitable dar~ i have given my full effort into it.. n we'll see either i manage to pass the exam or not.. who wants to be the failure right? i wish m not into dat category.. huhu~
if i pass the exam, i can further my studies.. i will enter a new phase of my life.. i can go to Uk.. n most importantly, i can experience the world myself.. yay!!
Further studies overseas will give me the access to travel here n there.. meeting diffrnt ppl with dffrnt culture.. whoa..i can't wait.. However, i hv to pay for it..
Further studies oversea also means i need to be far apart with my family n beloved one.. huhu~ the separation will definitely broke my heart, are they going to miss me.?? n the crucial 1, am i going to hv the chance to meet them again after 3 years in ovc?? mom, dad, my sista, bby akid n afiq,.. sm1 not to be mentioned, M going to miss u all damn much..
last night, sum1 asked me bout hmm u know la.. dat very important 1 for everyone..love
i try not to think bout it now, but the more i pretend to ignore it, the more my heart says.. "u must make a decision now.. u already hv the answer n what u need to do is juz say YES.." haih~
it's reality dat today's decision will shape my life tomorrow..sooner or later we'll far apart.. i like u damn much.. but if i make a decision now, the separation will hurt u n me more.. i juz want to enjoy every moment with u.. if possible, i want to spend everyday wif u.. haih~
i believe that 3 months n 3 years after this will not the same as today..

Annoyance

M actually in the library now, alone.. waiting for my classmates- NOah & haikal n few others.. I'm suppose to come here with nini, but since she went out for dinner with pojie, i juz came here dar.. wait for them.. haih... told me dat they will come at 8 pm but when i sampai here, nobody la...
doing nothing now...
hmm.. m thinking n thinking bout nothing come into my mind...
but suddently, m thinking bout anoyyance~...
to be continued.. my friend sampai dah~

I think i've hurt somebody's feeling...

hu~ thousands appologies dear..

i can't decide what's the best for us~ i hv my main focus now, my exam, my future, but it doesn't mean u r less importnt to me..

i felt happy to know u..

i hv reasons why i'm not ready yet..

i mean words dat i said. Truth is always hurt~ but it's life. Perhaps, in the near future, i might fall into u..

but, i can gurantee nothing~ i hope u'll understnd me

please~~
when u read this post,

do not mad at me..

do not avoid me..

do not forget me..

M always here as a friend for u~ nothing can change the fact that i'll always be ur shoulder to cry on..

i'd love to listen to u..

i'd love to share evrythng with u~

I'd love to be ur best close friend..~

the time hasn't come yet...........~

Image Bertudung??!!

Hmm.. suddenly, i have thought bout getting bertudung..
actly, i want to..
but i found it's quite difficult without high motivation...
huhu~
i really want to change for the sake of my life..
perhaps, m not ready yet..
but, whatever it is..
someday, i will change and ready to wear tudung..!

Love is in the AiR~

so suddenly i think about love..
I want to have a boyfriend..!!
m i look so desperate??
huhu~
whatever, the truth is, deep inside my heart i really want to be loved..
yeah...

Life is A G.I.F.T

I have many things in my mind right now especially my goals and dreams.

Can dream be reality or I just imagine nonsense thing?

I need to work hard to achieve every each of my goals and dreams. All I ever wanted actually is to make people around me happy until my last breath.

However, life is too short. We never know when we will go to heaven, or simply say ‘die’. Life is not just at experiencing what we gone through but most importantly to give access to us to search what life exactly meant.

Some people said “Life is a gift”. Is it really meant as people thought? A great gift to change everything I guess. For me, it is absolutely right. With that gift, I feel alive. People give me love even I never ask for it. I am experiencing new feeling every day. I am learning new things every second and I am creating new perception every hour. Over the years, I have become more matured. Starting from a naïve little girl like a colourless piece of cloth, now I’m full of experience.