A week after he went back to Malaysia.
It's just ma alone here.. pursuing what i wanted, to fulfill what my parents wants..
Thinking back how we met, how the relationship grows stronger and more stronger everyday, how he came to the UK to be with me, how wonderful everything is, how the time has stopped when i was with him , how everything changed, how he had to go back to Malaysia, how i was sending him back and how deep i love him..
I have found my true love, indeed.
I have responsibility to be here, never give up to make him understand. But, he it was never.. How? what i'm suppose to do? It's so hard to make a decision, either to break my parents heart, or lose him?
I don't want either, both are important. I am taking risk if i go back now, everything will be ruined, my parents hope, our future.. maybe he can't see my point there. Frankly, if i quit.. i have to prepare lots of effort to return what once i have got. The money, i don't mind.. he will support me, we will work together.. for how long? i don't know. how about your family trust? will they forgive you? will they allow you to get married with him?
They WILL if i finish my studies. yes.. they will,.
Just if you don't finish studies, you will never get what you want. They will never ever allow you to get married, they won't forgive what you've done. You'll lose both, family and love. You'll regret what you've decided.
think..
the answer is in your hand... You make the decision.
remember, you can't turn back later. This will surely affect your entire life.
But, i love him.. i willing to do everything for him to be mine? then why don't you go for it? i cannot ruin my future.. huhuks..
"you will never listen to me, you will never do something for me..!!"
It's all my fault, i cannot do even single thing for him.. i am useless. you know what? You will get him if he willing to wait. but he doesn't want to wait and i will lose him at any time.
He loves you.. you just give him torn by asking him to wait. let him go? NO..!! i will never, i will choose to live alone till i die, but never ever to turn back on him. It's just him in my heart untill i die.. i will choose to suffer as long as he be happy. i will choose to wait for him until he come back to me.. even though it means i have to suffer, be alone for the rest of my life..
My love will never fade away..
I swear to myself..!!
come back entry
12 years ago
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