how do i live without you~

Dar.. i love you full of my heart..I hope u r not tired listening to this, the same thing again n again.. i juz want you to know dat there's no other man inside here, in my heart.. you r the only one i love now, at this moment, tmorrow, the becoming days, until the day i die..
dar~ i want to spent the rest of my life with you.. u know what i mean right??
we have talk about our becoming 3 years so many times.. sometimes i felt so bored to talk the same topic again,
i never stop thinking bout ur life, about us.. m less thinking bout my self as if it's not important da this time.. i want you to be happy.. how can i make sure dat u'll be happy?? i also dunnnoe..i know it gonna be very hard for you to let me go.. as u said, "have to".. i'll never ask you to let me go because i dont want to stay apart. but i realise dat this is the truth, tha faith.. by hook or by crook i hv to go.. huhu~ truth is always hurt..
dar~ do you know smthing,? i've been crying everyday knowing dat soon we'll be far apart.. m so scared to death to live my life without u..
there's no YOU to stay besides me..
to sing a song for me..
to remind me to take care of myself..
to call me everyday..
to share your story with me..
to comfort me..
to tell me i'm special eventhough I'm not..
TO GIVE ME MORE LOVE EVEN I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT..
to whisper "I LOVE YOU" to me..
to give Company when i needed
to wipe my tears..
to share happy moment..
to laugh together..
to cry together..
to listen to me..
to give me strength when i'm down..
to do things together..
to watch the moon n stars together..

there's no you to share my life with..

Dear darling Wilson, with my heart, body n soul, I sincerely, badly, positively love you..
i never fall into someone else like the way i fall into you~
How do i live without you..
tell me dar..

Went To PeNang

ha...
now ni m doing nothing.. m planning of to finish my novel but quite malas.. not so malas la but m not having the mood to membaca right now. m juz sitting here, infront of the laptop, trying to remember my password for yahoo group, but i remmber nothing unless the unforgettable memories in my dar homewtown.. on last monday, i went to Penang with my Dar to meet his parents. It was quite unexpected plan because previously we had planned to go to genting. But knowing dat this is the only chance for me to meet his parents before i fly, then i juz agreed lor.. besides, dar told me he haven't meet his parent for quite long time..
M so nervous, afraid, worried n anxiuos of meeting his parents.. huhu~ i was thnking lots of things on the day of departure.. what if... what if this.. what if that...
The 4 hours journey was enough to make myself felt a bit tired n got backpain.. huhu~ i hate travel for hours on the bus.. but this time i was so lucky because i have my dar besides me.. so if i was not sleeping, i talked to him.. n if i was not talking to him, i sleep.. hihi~
i juz awake n sleep, again awake then sleep throughout the journey.. at least the 4 hours journey can be made shorter.. hahah~ i think tHe bus only stopped once at ipoh.. hmm think so.. not sure la~ m not familiar with the place.. huuhuu~ wanna know smthng? actly this was my first time in my life came to penang.. huhu~ so sad, isnt it??
never been there before.. luckily my dar brought me there, if not.. m not sure la if i have other chances to jejak my kaki there.. hi~
is it possible to me to come there in other time?? maybe yes.. maybe not.. depends..
maybe yes for m coming there to visit my dar's parents or to come to my coursemate's wedding.. hihi~ Dila, so far..she's my only friend who staying in penang..
nah~
but m sure dat i'll come back to penang again after 3 yrs.. to meet my beloved dar~
i promise him, i'll be back.. if he's not working in KL n has moved to his hmtown dat time, i'll find him at his house..heheh~ evnthough m hving high chance to sesat.. sesat pun sesatla.. as long as i can meet my dar~
dar~ i love u so much..!!

Thanks Darling~

Dar~ i'd love to say thousand thnk you for your time to cook for me..
hmm..nyum.. nyum.. it's delicious, Yup serious.. M totally full dat night.. hihi~
dun noe why suddenly m was thinking of asking you to cook for me.. n you just agreed.. dar~ love you..
felt so lucky to know dat someone is willlig to do anything for you.. Haih i couldn't help you to masak la dear.. know nothing.. m afraid if i kacau u, later everythng will mess up.. huhu~
i could only watch you. m truly happy.. so syok watching my chef cook in the kitchen.. everythng seemed so easy for him.. hahah..of course la, he's a chef what..
dear~ thnk you dar~
for the wonderful dinner~

S#!*

Raser cm nak mencarut je...
huhu~ warghh...

100 things about me~

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Plain H2O
2. Last phone call: My dear Darling.. Who else?? hihi
3. Last text message: tO ili~
4. Last song you listened to: EnTernal Flame.. Dar~ i wnt u to know how much i love u..
5. Last time you cried: Juz now~ huhuks...

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: ........ m thinking...~ wht da ya mean??!!
7. Been cheated on: haih~more thn Hundred times lor..
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Never Ever regretted it.. right darling???
9. Lost someone special: huhukS.. cannot afford to lose him..
10. Been depressed: totally depressed... How m i going to get through days in Uk for 3yrs without my sayang..??!!
11. Been drunk and threw up: for sure la.. NEVER..

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black is Mystery
13. Red is Sexy
14. Warna Warni?? hihiks...

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Not really.. M stuck n Bz wif my Final exam..
16. Fallen out of love: SUre Nope... FAllen In.. definiely yeS..
17. Laughed until you cried: Too Happy of having SOme1 besides me.. I love you Dar~
18. Met someone who changed you: I am myself.. No nd to chnge.. i thnk so..~
19. Found out who your true friends were: huh... Not yet.. ppl keep chnging as the time moving~
20. Found out someone was talking about you: unexpected person was talking bout me.. X sangka Sunnguh.. how can she thinks we're friend??
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yup2...
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Most of them.. nt sure~
23. How many kids do you want to have: ask my becoming hubby.. Sayang..~ how many kids do we want??
24. Do you have any pets: virtual pet yes... real one.. nope..
25. Do you want to change your name: hmm... when got married.. maybe yes.. dun noe.. so far.. dun think so
26. What did you do for your last birthday: did not celebrate..
27. What time did you wake up today: almost 11..
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: aha..!! went to teman my dar~ go fishing until 6 am.. knowing dat it would be the last time i can go fishing wif him~ really enjoyed watching the stars n moon~
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: getting married with dar~ <3
30. Last time you saw your Mother: almost 2 months ago..
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I've met my dar~ earlier n if possible we're married da.. hihih~ <3 <3 <3
32. What are you listening to right now: Ministry of Sound.. dunnoe what song.. juz listening~
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nOpe
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: My Dar~
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook dowh.. n Blog
36. Whats your real name: Shalilah Binti HUssin
37. Nicknames: Shasha (currently), Elle ( school n matrik), kakak (close friend), Cik Cha (my nephew), Milla (at home)
38. Relationship Status: hihi~ LOveis in the Air..
39. Zodiac sign: Aquarius
40. Male or female?: erkk.. Female lor~
41. Elementary?: SK Sungai Mas.. Tada Mas Pown.. hahaks
42. Middle School?: Sek. Men. Bandar Mas.. then SAINS MUAR
43. High school/college?:JOhor matriculation College(2006-07) .. teacher training Inst. (IPBA/IPGM Kampus bahasa Antarabangsa)
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: long.......................
46. Height: 145cm.. huhu~ m shorty..
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: NO..
48. What do you like about yourself?: I love Children, n if i've met sm1 i really love, i will love him forever n never think of betray him.. I'm simple n positively, i dun like to bother people life..!! Dat's not my business
49. Piercings: ear la~
50. Tattoos: noPE
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Never
53. First piercing: time baby kot~ ask my mum
54. First best friend: Nana & Rozi
55. First sport you joined: 100m.. hihi~ when i was 9yrs old
56. First vacation: Where??? m thinking...... long time ago
58. First pair of trainers:....

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nope
60. Drinking: nope
61. I'm about to: Sleep.. hihi~ waiting phone call from dar~
62. Listening to: Ministry of Music n Fan.. haih
63. Waiting on: to Meet Dar~ what else.. dar.. cm bck early!!

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: yup.. definitely
65. Get Married?: sure.. DEFiNITELy i want to... right sayang??
66. Career?: Teacher-to-be

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: BOTH...
69. Shorter or taller: er.... huhuks.. sensitive question..
70. Older or Younger: Younger~
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: err.. dun noe.. cannot register da~
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive la~
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: noPe
77. Drank hard liquor: noPe
78. Lost glasses/contacts: not yet~ hihi
79. Sex on first date: noPe~
80. Broken someone's heart: sure penah.. yes
82. Been arrested: nope~ budak baik ma~
83. Turned someone down: Dun noe la~ MAybe yes whout my realisation..haih~
84. Cried when someone died: Yes.. lost my beloved uncle
85. Fallen for a friend?: humm..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: YeSSS......!!
87. Miracles: yes
88. Love at first sight: YEs..!!!
89. Heaven: totally
90. Santa Claus: previously, when i was young.. hihi.. too much watch TV dowh..
91. Kiss on the first date: yup2...
92. Angels: totally

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: NOpe...WhAt FOR??
95. Did you sing today?: yes.. i did..
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: yup..
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: as far as possible, as long as i can stay together with my sayang..~
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: dun noe..
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Partially yEs..
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: yes

I'm really mean it..!!

Dar. i want you to know that this s my decision, My final decision n i dont want to think about it anymore~ I ONly WANT you n FOREVer LOVE yoU..!!
NOw, at this time, this moment, n the becoming hours, days N next 3 YEARS, i WILL STICK with YOu..ok
N I will not look for other guys.. i just want you.!! i will never get tired of loving you..
if i have to tell you 100times per day that i want to live wif u.. i will coz i need you.. i cannot lost you~ dear.. i love you..!!!

I will Always Love You~

If I should stay
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go but I know
I'll think of you
Every step of the way.
And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
You my darling
Bittersweet memories,
That is all I'm taking with me.
So goodbye, please don't cry.
And I will always love you.
I will always love you.

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have
All you've dreamed of.
And I wish for you joy
And happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I, I will always love you.
You, darling I love you.
I'll always, I'll always love you